​And they all came to pay tribute to the new King. 
 
Zukie the Curly, Tim Apple, Bozo and his buxom wife, and even Mickey the Mouse came to pay tribute to the new King.  Tim Apple offered his gift of 10 million dollars for the King’s Coronation, to insure that little Musky could hone up on his Sieg Heils and that the Diet Coke would flow in abundance. 
 
Others that couldn’t make the long journey, offered their full support, continuing to to shower the golden one with praise, riches and apologies. Wee little Paramount, (the runt of the streamers and studios) offered to settle a lawsuit against the once reputable news show. They had learned well from their fellow subjects at ABC, at all costs it does not pay to upset the King.
 
And talk about talent, Hulk Hogan dined with Dr. Phil while the Village People serenated the King with their gay anthem. American Idol was represented as well, serenading the King with the wrong pre-recorded music.
 
Big Macs where consumed by all, washed down with Diet Coke. For Dessert, the honored guests dined on Blizzards from the Queen of Dairy.
 
According to Neilson, a very few of his subjects watched his coronation, holding out hope that the King still remembered his promise to lower the price of their bread and eggs as the whole while, Gulfs were renamed, criminals were pardoned and planes crashed.
 
Just another day in the kingdom of America.

“And it was said that Three Kings from Hollywood came to Washington bearing gifts.  The one named Jon brought the gift of loyalty. The second, a self-proclaimed King named Sly, brought the gift of literacy and enunciation. And the last, brought the baby Trump the biggest gift of all, antisemitism. Their holy task is to make Hollywood great again. To return it to the days of the monopoly and glory days before the unions. They would bring back the “sizzle” and restore the glitz and glamor that was once the renaissance of such men as the pill peddler Louis B. Mayer, the megalomaniac Jack Warner and, of course, who could forget rapist and all-around mobster Harry Cohn.” ---------Excerpt from Trump Bible
 
Okay, well, we’ll just have to wait and see how this all turns out. Maybe a new Leni Reifenstahl (perhaps porn actress Brandi Love or even Richelle Ryan) will emerge, and we all will be forced to watch an all-new Triumph of the Will, titled, “Yank My Doodle, It’s A Dandy!”
 
Okay, enough politics. How about some music to make you feel optimistic:

(Pictured: Jake from State Farm canceiling someone's fire insurance)

Today’s blog is brought to you by State Farm Insurance, who’s new motto is “Like a good neighbor, State Farm we’ll take away your insurance when you need it most, and you will like it. And, oh yeah, you are never getting the garden hose I borrowed back.”
 
I am exhausted. Just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, this happens. I have so many wonderful friends and colleagues that are suffering from the devastating wildfires that are affecting Southern CA. Some have lost everything. I am heartsick. Here in wine country, we have suffered through these types of fires twice. Aided by winds, the fiery destruction jumped a freeway and destroyed an entire community. The second forced us from our homes and was finally stopped three blocks from our home. As bad as that all was, multiply the effects by millions of more people and you will just begin to understand the cost of this current disaster.
 
So please, do what you can. There are so many great ways to help. Individually they may not seem like much but every single of them helps. I have posted a link for you to help. We have picked two but for this, there are no wrong answers. Do what you can. We can discuss possible solutions at a later date.

This blog post is brought to you by Nespresso. Nespresso: “A Tastier way to die from heart palpitations.” Nespresso: May cause the following symptoms after the consumption of more than three pods: headache, nausea, dizziness, dry mouth, stomach upset, muscle pain, allergic reactions, and in some cases, more serious warnings like increased risk of heart attack, stroke, or suicidal thoughts; they also often state to consult a doctor if you are experiencing difficulty achieving an erection. Pregnant women or those with certain medical conditions should not even touch the damn thing. Nespresso: Crack with flavor.
 
During the coimedy boom of the late eighties, the nightclub comedian, L’ Homme Sauvage became quite the sensation in France. Much like his spiritual godfather, Jerry Lewis, this chameleon of zany merriment and mirth brought all of his unique gifts to a people that were still secretly enamored of the guillotine as a form of capital punishment. 
 
L’ Homme received his comedy training at an early age, mentoring under the comedic community college masterminds of such greats as Richard Melo, Pat Torelle, and of course, Jazz Impresario David Barduhn. 
 
His historic one man show, Désinvolture fou, and while not a financial hit, somehow became a critical darling. Buoyed by critical reaction, L’Homme was soon touring the Yuk Yuk chain of comedy clubs in Canada, where one fateful winter night, he was thrown into an Edmonton Alberta jail for failing to fill out the proper paperwork. It was during the delousing where he came up with his signature callback, Lève ton sac, drôle d'homme (English translation) “Lift your sack, funny man”
 
While serving his full 12 hours in prison, L’ Homme converted to a more wild style of comedy and announced to the press that he would be taking his new found talent for grabbing his crotch, birth controls and used condom cross the pond where his act would truly be appreciated.
 
Coming Soon: “L’ Homme Sauvage in Paris”