One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, and last but not least, thirty-four. “Guilty on counts.”

For those insisting that this should primarily be a screenwriting site, thirty-four pages just happens to be a good number of pages  for the first act of your screenplay.

​You want to save theatrical motion pictures as a commercial art form? It’s really quite simple. Go!  Get off your badass self off the couch and down to your local multiplex. They even have those nice recliners now, the kind that have magic fingers that mimic what’s happening on the screen. If you want to help out the theatre owner, buy a bucket of overpriced popcorn and a ten-dollar soda. If you want to have sex after your moviegoing experience, try out the new Dune 2 commemorative movie tub (it’s like thousands of worm teeth urging you to let go). BTW, streamed Dune 2 and loved it. The sign of a great movie for me is a two-hour forty-minute runtime with zero-bathroom breaks.
 
It really doesn’t matter which movie you see, as long as it is not Madame Web. I made it ten minutes (with six bathroom breaks) before bailing. That is a whole new record. In the words of Colonel Kurtz, “the horror. The horror.” 
 
There are a lot of hopeful signs out there that maybe the film business is about to recover slowly. It may take time as we are now more than ever a global market, and it will take time for everything to align properly.  
 
Some movies released exclusively in theaters are doing quite well. And as an added incentive to get prostates in seats, it’s rumored Spielberg will be back in 2026 and that it might even be another UFO movie. 
 
Okay, I hope you are all well, that you are writing, that you believe in yourself and in your talent. 
 
I need to get going to order my presale tickets for Garfield. What can I say? “I hate Mondays.” 

Okay, a promise. No more Happy Days talk. This, of course, includes all references to Laverne and Shirley, Mork and Mindy, The Odd Couple, and any holiday-themed movie produced by Garry Marshall.
 
What I do want to talk about is Bennifer. What do you think? Personally, I think it is over. They are the Dick and Liz of a new generation. Most likely they have a couple of more marriages in store. 
 
Started reading Moby Dick? Why?  Much like Ulysses by James Joyce, it is on my reading bucket list for quite some time. I read the latter ten years back. And if you really had to ask what it is about, I would answer it was about a guy walking around Dublin for several hundred pages (without indentation or paragraphs). Maybe I will have better luck with the Moby Dickster.  I have to say, so far so good.
 
I have been streaming quite a bit of television lately and have just completed all five of the 1960’s Planet of the Ape Series. If anyone is interested, here is how I rank them. 1. Planet of the Apes. 2. Escape from Planet of the Apes. 3. Battle for Planet of the Apes. 4. Conquest of Planet of the Apes and 5. Beneath the Planet of the Apes.  You’re welcome!
 
Unlike the above, something definitely worth streaming is a Netflix gem titled Bodkin. Starring Will Forte, in a stunning dramatic turn, this little Irish mystery is chock full of great characters and will have you screaming for a second season.
 
Okie dokie, artichokie! Until next week.

​While I’ve been away, I hope everyone has used their time wisely. One of the best ways is networking. And the good news is you don’t necessarily need to be in LA to do it. The writing/film/producer community on Linkedin is one of the greatest group of supportive professionals out there. I belong to several of these groups. My favorite, fan written fiction for seventies ABC Gary Marshall comedies happens to be a person fave. Some of the tales of Ralph the Malph and Potsie Weber are downright torrid. I never knew that not only was Malph his last name but… Oh, never mind.
 
(Fun fact: A college friend saw Anson Williams perform at the LA County Fair and reported back that his deep preparation did not include correctly inserting his performing belt into the pants loops.  Oh, Potsie)
 
But seriously, check out the Producer’s Network. Read a bit about someone who interests you and reach out. They may just surprise you. 
 
Warning: LinkedIn or the Producers Network is not a pitch fest but a way of meeting interesting people in this wonderful business that we call show.  And who knows, once there is a relationship who knows what could develop. Maybe something as successfully torrid as Ralph the Malph and Potsie Weber.