Chapter 8: A Day in the London Museums or Dem Bones, Dem Bones!

Museums are conveniently located on almost every corner of England. And to make matters even less complicated, the major ones are completely free. Some do require a pre-register login at a website to prevent overcrowding, which is only a minor inconvenience if you have forgotten your smartphone. These national museums are considered some of the best museums in the entire world, and they have the stolen booty to prove it. 
Egypt called. They want their shit back.
 
It is said that at one time, the sun never set on the British Empire, which must have made it all the more challenging to steal all these precious antiquities during broad daylight.
 
Some of the more notable museums are as follows.
The Natural History Museum
The British Museum
Science Museum
The Victoria and Albert Museum
Design Museum
Tate Modern Museum
Imperial War Museum
The Comedy Museum
The Laurence Oliver Museum of Bad Hairpieces.
 
Unfortunately, time was limited, leaving me with the ability to only visit two. I decided on the Science and Natural History Museums, spending about two hours at each. I could have easily spent more time at each, but I still wanted the option to check out the collection of racist noses at the Oliver.
It was a gorgeous day, and both of the museums were only a short walk from where I was dropped off.
The two premier exhibits at the Science Museum were The History of Flight and Computing. Both took up an entire wing, and there was enough there to keep even the most ADHD among us satisfied. There were working replicas of the earliest radar, an extensive collection of World War II model planes, flight suits, and a walk-through, working model of the earliest radar. 
The computing displays were just as interested in examples of the infamous decoding machine from WW3 to examples of the computers that made the blinking light consoles of the old Irwin Allen television shows pale in comparison. 
I also happened to visit the walk-through displays of both a modern and clean working restroom and an overpriced museum café. Both were incredibly real, although for the latter, the food did not seem to capture the true essence of what it means to be edible.
But all the while, something almost as old as time itself was calling me. Whatever this siren was, it was close. I left the computing and aeronautics, stepping out once again into the brisk sunshine.  
 
Dem bones, dem bones were less than a block away.
 
To be honest, I have always had a real hankering to see some dinosaurs, and the exhibit at the Natural History Museum, one of the largest in the world, did not disappoint. This is truly an old-school museum with century-old architecture, grand winding staircases, and, unfortunately for me, six million British schoolchildren who had the same hankering to see some remains of prehistoric giants.  Despite the long and winding lines, the countless bony exhibits were totally worth it. However, be forewarned: if you visit on a weekend, wear earplugs to protect your ears from the thousands of delighted, squealing children.