4. Westminster Calling

​The City of Westminster is a London borough with complete city status.  It is the site of the United Kingdom's Parliament and much of the government. It contains a large part of the city, including most of the West End, such as the major shopping areas around and the entertainment district of Soho. Many historic landmarks are within the borough, including Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey Whitehall, Westminster Abbey, Whitehall, Westminster Cathedral, 10 Downing Street and Trafalgar Square. Over 200 thousand people live in the district. Converted from the metric, that is well over three million souls. – The Internets 
 
From Victoria Station to my hotel was only a short walk. But being an obese American, ever vigilant at the prospect of marauding pickpockets or “Droogs,” I decided to take a cab. 
Disappointed that there was no horse-drawn Hansom Cab anywhere near, I was forced to take the next best thing, an electric taxi. Once inside, I rapped on the plastic partition with my walking stick and ordered the good man to take me to the hotel. And, if he happened to manage the trip in under 30 seconds, there would be an extra “fiver” in it for him. I was quite confident that I would not have to pay as I was at least 45 seconds from my hotel.
 
Weather 1st day: 16.11 Celsius (converted into American totals over sixty U.S. dollars). Wind WSW at 12 MPH, Humidity at 67 percent.
 
Spared of relinquishing my fiver, I arrived at the hotel several minutes later and checked into The Westminster London Curio Collection by Hilton before 1pm. Check-in was easy and after spending several minutes in the same device used in shrinking the Proteus for the movie Fantastic Voyage, I was finally small enough to fit into my rather weensy room. I should have spent the extra 20 quid on miniaturizing the suitcase as well as the room was so tiny, I literally needed to step over it every time I wished to move around the room.
It was still early enough in the day to experience some sights, so after a quick Elvis bath (pits, crotch, Brute, and A and D ointment to keep my lips soft), I was ready to take on The Big Smoke. Watch out London, here I come.
 
Other nicknames for London that you may be unfamiliar with: 
The Capital, The Swinging City, The Metropolis, The City of Dreams, The Global Village, The City of Villages, The Green City, The Foodie Capital, LDN, London Town, The Great Wen, Londinium, and last but not least and  one that I came up all on my own, Runny Eggs and Bean Town (more about English Breakfasts later). All, save maybe for the last one, are suitable ways of addressing the city, so feel free to use any of these when conferring with locals.
The Curio is conveniently located two blocks from the Thames, MI 6, and six blocks from Parliament. I decided to start with these ands if my stamina chose to hold, fan out to other locations from there. 
MI-6
The SIS Building, also called the MI6 Building, at Vauxhall Cross houses the headquarters of the Secret Intelligence Service, (SIS), also known as Military Intelligence, Section 6 (MI6), the United Kingdom's foreign intelligence agency. It is located on the bank of the River Thames. The building has been the headquarters of the SIS since 1994 and is the home of James Bond 007 before he was killed by Jeff Bezos and Barbara Broccoli. The Internet.
 
I’m sad to report that the house that Bond built has seen better days. From my vantage point across the Thames, it had appeared to have not been taken over by Blofeld after all, but rather poor relations from the States. But I was surprised that after the fatal explosion during Skyfall and the demolition of the entire building from Spectre, the old girl still stands. Only goes to show what’s possible when the British and Q put their minds do it. 
Heading east, it did not take long to stumble into a park that led to a view of the backside of Parliament and the historic structure that has been the seat of British Government for over six thousand years. It has been often said that at one time the sun never set on the British Empire and that was due in no small part to the controlling of the earth’s weather from this very building (the antennae located somewhere inside Big Ben). Unlike MI 6, this building has not suffered at all from the ravages of time. She stands proud, tall, and erect, much like the Grand Dame Maggie Smith in most all of the Harry Potter Films.
 
Six hours later, in darkness and wandering through unfamiliar neighborhoods, I had managed to see all of the above, with the addition of Westminster Cathedral, Victoria Station, Big Ben, and the theatre where Hamilton is playing. In search of a special first night in London dinner, I passed several hundred examples of pubs, taverns, cafes and restaurants that all happened to be filled to capacity with locals.  Without any luck, I headed home through the unfamiliar neighborhood.
 
Even though the neighborhoods were dimly lit, I never felt threatened by Droogs or any other menacing gang of tapdancing, pickpocketing hooligans. The streets were quiet, safe and worth another look in daylight. Finally arriving back at the hotel, I ordered a pint of the local beer and a Caesar salad, strategizing my itinerary for the following day.