J.P. Linde
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J.P. Linde
Writer
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​J.P. Linde’s love of storytelling started unexpectedly when he convinced male classmates of his 6th-grade class that Elizabeth Montgomery, the star of Bewitched, was his girlfriend. Since that fateful day, J.P. Linde has worked as an actor in summer-stock productions of  Our Town, Hot L Baltimore, and The Misanthrope and, thankfully, did not appear nude during any performances of the musical Hair. He was one of the founding members of the Portland, Oregon comedy scene,  establishing the improvisational and sketch comedy group, No Prisoners, and appearing in his own one-person show, Casually Insane. He has worked as a professional stand-up comedian, making his national television debut on Showtime’s Comedy Club Network. His musical Wild Space, A Go Go, had its world premiere in Portland at The Embers in 2011.  He has written three novels. His latest,  The Last Argonaut, will be published in 2024 by Pro Se Productions. He co-wrote the horror cult classic Axe to Grind and has worked with some of the leading producers in film and television.
From J.P. Linde Media and El Dorado Press:

A desperate Wyatt Earp pursues Jack London, a boy, and a
grizzled mountain man in a race for a legendary gold mine


Fool's Gold 

The new novel from J.P. Linde
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"Not only is J.P. Linde's FOOL's GOLD a barn burner of a snow western adventure tale, it's also a love story. Linde clearly loves his genre, loves creating within it and loves to keep his readers on the edge of their seat."    Richard Melo (Author of Happy Talk and Jokerman 8).
Also by J.P. and available on 
Amazon!
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https://a.co/d/gsulDTu
"J.P. Linde has successfully delivered a novel that is both a loving homage to the pulp fiction genre and a hilarious satire of it. "
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Visionary Talent Agency
Betsy Magee (Agent)
​646-637-6044
[email protected]
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Dapper Bird Entertainment
Olga Aldama (Manager)
818-967-4041
[email protected]


8 Rules for Not Writing a Book

4/22/2023

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I thoroughly enjoy a good meme and came across this the other day while procrastinating. If only it were that easy. So, I decided to come up with my own rules.  
 
How Not to Write a Book.
 
  1. Do it because you really need the money.
  2. Write 50 words and immediately delete them.
  3. Write 400 words and start a blog.
  4. Write 300 pages, and that is…a heck of a lot of writing. Too much, really. You could hurt yourself.
  5. Go into your office to write daily and become secretly addicted to porn.
  6. Start a writing consulting business and become rich (See 1).
  7. Have something to fall back on. My mother thought I would make one hell of a bartender. 
J.P. Linde
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Strike!

4/15/2023

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​Damn, it. This week I am going to be on time. This week, I will dazzle you with my wit and wisdom. This time, I am going to write more than 150 words.  Okay, here we go.
 
Been another very busy week. There is a strike looming, and in my bones, I feel like it will be a big one. 
 
“These things gotta happen every five years or so, ten years. Helps to get rid of the bad blood. Been ten years since the last one. You know, you gotta stop them at the beginning.”  
--Peter Clemenza
 
As you may or may not know, Peter was the head writer on the television game show Wordplay in 1986.  The strike was in 1988 and ran for 5 months, and, as I understand it, a lot of mattresses were sold.
 
I am not a union guy. Wanna be. Would love to be in the WGA East or West. But have never made enough points. Was hoping to remedy that this year. Now, I am not so sure that is going to happen. There are a lot of issues on the table this year. Writer’s rooms, AI content, streaming residuals and, of course, taking the total number of Law and Order episodes from a total of six episodes per year down to two. 
 
As I see it, this will play one of two ways. Writers win, getting almost everything they want. Or…The Studios eventually weaken the Guild until all that remains is reality television and Marvel Films. Which world do you want to live in? 
 
As a nation, we are stronger with Unions. I worry that we are beginning to see them as unnecessary. Interesting times we are living in. 

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I'm Late

4/11/2023

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​Apologies, condolences, and all that. But with all that said, I never forgot. My mind has just been on other things, postponing the blog for a day, or two, or three. It is Tuesday, and I am unsure what I will say. So, maybe we should talk about being busy… or, as they say in corporate America, Time Management. 
 
Not really my strong point. I am one of those people who work hard as opposed to smart. I could use a bit of the latter in my approach. I do have a writing schedule every day. (7 days a week) and attempt to stick with it. I have provided clues in the past of what my day usually looks like so I will not bore you with the details. 
 
Of course, I have thrown the schedule away to complete this today. But as the immortal Bard was fond of saying, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Wait, that was my PE Teacher. Well, anyway, have a schedule, try to stick with it… and, most important, try not to miss any blog entries.
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An Excellent Pass

4/1/2023

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​Sometimes a pass is more than a pass. Occasionally, you can feel good about a submission, even if the ultimate answer is no. All you really must do is learn to read between the lines. Oftentimes, you don’t even need to read between the lines, the good news is right there, ready to slap you across the face.
 
Case in point. A recent submission received the following comments. First and foremost, there was not the usual “not a good fit,” “not what we’re looking for,” etc, etc, etc. This time there was a very specific reason for the pass, but it was preceded by praise for the writing.” And was followed by (the best saved for the last): 
 
“I enjoyed his writing and would be open to reading more in the future.”
 
Bingo. Put that in your wounded ego and smoke it.  I believe the development person was very sincere in sharing this with my agent. And you can be damn sure that I will take him up on his offer. Not today, mind you. Not even tomorrow. But soon. 
 
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