At one time, Mark Allen was considered by some as a Portland Theatre Impresario. With popular dinner theatres in both Portland Oregon and Vancouver BC, he was one of the few producers in the Portland Metropolitan area at the time who claimed to pay his actors (I use the termed “pay” very loosely as I worked for him a year and can only recall one or two instances of ever receiving a paycheck). He appeared as a Woody Allen-type comic Schimel in hundreds of local commercials, hosted several radio shows in the fifties and was one of the first theatre companies to perform in the historic Coaster Theatre in Cannon Beach, Oregon. 
 
It was the early seventies and as a young actor, thirsting to prove my talent and mettle after a fresh jettison from a local community college theatre department, I auditioned and took my first acting job with Mark Allen and his dinner theatre company. The play was Norman is That You, a sort of gay, road show episode of Plaza Suite and was happy to call myself a paid working actor, I signed a contract for a six-month run in Vancouver BC. The show starred George Ross (Dr. Zoom from the KPTV kids cartoon show), me and a chap named Ed, (sorry can’t remember the last name) who, as I remember was sort of a cross between Baby Huey from the cartoons and Charles Nelson Riley. 
 
Being completely naive, I agreed to payment solely based on a percentage of the house. Let’s just say the during the entire run, the house won. Repeatedly. From the boards, the dinner tables always looked full and happy. Come payday, always at the end of the month, I was informed that the expense of running the show was conveniently getting in the way of a decent payoff. But to me, I was happy to be actor, happy to be away from home in a bordering foreign country, and happy to believe I was being paid actual money to learn my craft.
 
I believe the show ran in Portland a month or before I would complete my contract with the Neil Simon play God’s Favorite. A lesser-known work, the comedy was a modern retelling of Job that played on Broadway with Charles Nelson Riley. Having made my imagined millions, I made my exit from the theatre company and never looked back. 
 
 
The last I heard of Mark Allen was a story circulating in a Portland’s Willamette Week (a popular news weekly), regarding Mark, a wife and an irate husband and a baseball bat or a gun.  I am foggy on the particulars but as I remember ended up with Mark receiving a few bruises or stitches. Since then I have met others who have worked with Mark, my co-creator of Wild Space A Go Go, Kurt Misar, being chief among them.
 
When you search the web and Portland history, there are very few items regarding this Portland legend and local Max Bialystok. Mark Allen passed away in 2015.
 
Mark passed away in 2015

​Just viewed The Batman and have to say, despite the almost three hours of running time, I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I do have one slight gripe and that is the mandate from DC on high that the one and only Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot would not be allowed to use any sort of tobacco product. WTF?
 
The Penguin is in part best known for smoking cigars in the Batman comic books, but Farrell's portrayal of him does not smoke. But that was not for lack of trying on the actor's part, despite Warner Bros. ' ban on smoking in a PG-13 movie.
 
Now, I can understand a hero not being allowed a cigarette, cigar, a vape or a chew, but what the hades? A villain? This is just crazy. I mean what better way to show a character morally comprised than by witnessing him attempting to impersonate the camel, Joe Cool.
 
Tony Soprano
Tony Montana
Kingpin
Fat Tony (The Simpsons)
Xenia Onatopp (Goldeneye)
Cigarette Smoking Man (X Files)
Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
 
And of course:
 
Any tobacco chewing redneck (Any Which Way but Loose)
 
Think of the subtle nuance tobacco use adds to all these fine performances. Why think of Burgess Meredith’s own performance of The Penguin in the 1966 incarnation of Batman. The waddle and cackle would be useless without the smoldering butt in a cigarette holder jutting out between clenched teeth. 
 
Closing argument:
 
In the most recent the Batman, a corrupt city official is dispatched by having his head literally blasted off his body with the aid of an explosive device locked around his neck. Hey, DC, what kind of message are we sending the impressionable youngsters of today?  Hey, kids, heres’ a public service announcement from your friends at DC: Explosive decapitations are perfectly acceptable forms entertainment. But, stay away from those damn cancer sticks.  For god’s sake, someone could get hurt.

(1967 (L to R) J.P. Linde, Mark Smith and David Bryce in classic 6th grade western The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. It had been less than a year since Leone released his vision but at 13, I thought it was high time for a reimagining.)


Suffice to say, most of you know me as the non-award-winning author The Holographic Detective Agency, Son of Ravage and of course the little seen cult classic Axe to Grind. But there is more to my resume than these, and I am not referring to the vast treasure drove of literary masterpieces that have not had the benefit of seeing the light of day.
 
Like all great artists/writers, I had an “early period.” For me that period was between the years 1966 and 1969, between 12 and 15 years of age. In an effort to document these major works for posterity, I have created a detailed catalog of those lost pieces and provided a brief synopsis for each.
 
Man from U.N.C.L.E. (School Play, 1966). Based on the NBC series from Arena Productions and used without permission the play had a total running time of at least five minutes, featuring several male classmates. I played Ilia Kuryakin as I owned a turtleneck. One major fight scene with no female cast members.
 
Man from U.N.C.L.E: The Sequel Affair (School Play 1966). Based on the popularity of the initial outing, a sequel was written. We were lucky enough to have all the original cast return, although there were last minute salary negotiations for a kid named Mark who played Napoleon Solo. Again, the running time was just over five minutes and again, there were no female cast members.
 
Good, Bad and the Ugly, (8mm film 1967) Based on the Sergio Leone western and starring myself (Blondie), Mark Smith (Tuco), David Bryce (Angel Eyes). Paul Bryce and Mike Smith played all of the supporting roles. Running time 12 minutes and filmed on location in the Mount Hood National Forest.  An historic sidenote: A handwritten invitation to the film premiere was sent to esteemed actor (and star of the original) Eli Wallach, who sent a very nice typewritten letter declining the event. The film was first screened for a small but adoring public in the Linde Garage at 8730 NE Tillamook.
 
(There were other 8mm films that sadly never saw a release date. Among them, Untitled Sherlock Holmes, Krakatoa West of Java, Untitled Secret Agent Film and a homage to Fantastic Journey (filmed with the aid of a lava lamp and a Aurora model of the Flying Sub from Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea). Sadly filming was stopped on Fantastic Voyage when the model sunk in our above ground swimming pool.
 
And finally, there was:
 
Bewitched (The Spec Script) 1969. Not only was this based on the popular comedy of the time, but it also happened to be inspired mostly by my unrequited love for Elizabeth Montgomery. Like my love, the script was considered a solid pass and to this day, I will never know if it is because of content, character arc, dialogue or the fact that it was written on notebook paper with a Bic pen. 

Nothing says the start of baseball season than War in Europe. Some days I feel like I’m in the middle of a Herman Wouk novel. Or, at the very least, a television adaptation of the same starring Robert Mitchum. In the last five years, Americans have endured Donald Trump, a plague, the selling the collective souls of the entire Republican Party to ol’ Scratch, and now an escalating bloodshed in Europe. Time really does fly when life as you know it is in the shit bucket. Where in God’s name is Pug Henry when we need him?
 
At least the strike is over, and we have baseball, America’s pastime.
 
SF Giants season started on Friday with a game against the Marlins. Luckily for me, I have good Wi-Fi in both my bunker and my safe room. So, I’ll be dressed in the ol’ orange and black, in the duck and cover position, and ready for the first pitch.
 
And speaking of curve balls. As we raise the winning pennant for the National League, I will be thinking of none other than Ginni Thomas and more specifically:
 
18 USC Ch. 115: TREASON, SEDITION, AND SUBVERSIVE ACTIVITIES
From Title 18.
 
I won’t bother you with the appropriate punishment for violating this seldom utilized statute, but it is worth noting that violating this law contains a few recognizable actions of late. Including:
 
Sec.
 
2381.Treason.
2382.Misprision of treason.
2383.Rebellion or insurrection.
2384.Seditious conspiracy.
2385.Advocating overthrow of Government.
2386. Infield Fly rule
 
Okay, 2386 was a way of tying my rambling diatribe back to the subject. 

In closing: I pray for the end of a war!
 I long for real justice to those who provoked and performed treason!
 And, as my side plea,  here’s hoping that the San Francisco Giants go all the way!
 
Amen

​On my most recent visit to Los Angeles, I had the opportunity to visit the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures located on 6067 Wilshire Blvd. Located conveniently near the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, not to mention the LaBrea Tar Pits and the Peterson Automotive Museum, this most recent addition to the local arts scene is well worth it. Ticket prices are reasonable, parking extremely overpriced, but the five full floors of eye-popping exhibits can easily be turning your visit into a day long excursion. Along with a scenic view off the top of the sphere-shaped Geffen Theatre, there is a gift shop, restaurant/bar and a resonantly priced café.
 
Some of the highlights on our visit, were Backdrop: An Invisible Art, artist, and animator Hayao Miyazaki, and Stories of Cinema, exploring visual and sound aspects of some of the greatest films ever made.
 
There is a room solely dedicated to the more infamous Oscar moments. In lieu of most recent events, it will most likely need to be updated.
 
We had tickets to a 7:30 presentation of one of my personal favorite films, Dr. Zhivago, so between museum visit and film, we dashed off to Pink’s Hot Dogs for a couple of gut busting Drew Barrymore’s before returning for Lean’s Epic take on the Russian Revolution.  
 
The Geffen is an 1100 seat movie theatre and features top-notch presentations of some of the greatest films ever made. Some are for Academy Museum members only, but most are open to the public for a very reasonable admission. Upcoming presentations include Planet of the Apes, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Big Chill and others. As a bonus, all films are introduced by experts in their respective fields.
 
The Academy Museum for Motion Pictures is a must-see for any serious film buff. Learn more at academymuseum.org