​Greetings, one and all. A bit of news. If you glance down at the space where I usually post a video, you will see that it has been removed with a dire warning. I believe this message is brought to you by the fine folks at Warner Brothers. You know. The fine studio that turned Jared Leto into the joker and JRR Tolkien's beloved classic Lord of the Rings into a Las Vegas slot machine.
 
I have no proof mind you, only suspicion. But this is the age of conspiracies, and I am jumping on the bandwagon.
 
So, in honor of the fine folks at Warner’s I have decided to post a popular song from their label to see how it lasts. I hope you enjoy it. And, if anyone asks, tell them, I sent you.
 
Then again, I could be wrong. It could be the Eagles. Maybe we will see next week.

 
Sitting around and waiting for something to happen can kill a writer. Ask me, I ought to know. I do it all the time. Every opportunity, every option, every invite to meet with a producer (along with the drive on studio pass), I feel that my career is kicking into high gear. I’ve been subscribing to this practice for years. And you know what? It is not the way the game is played. It’s all about the long game. It is about working on more than one opportunity at a time. It is about now worry about the result but the journey it will take to get there.
 
Have you ever met a one and done? These are remarkable creative self-professed geniuses that as soon as the idea is printed out on paper, it is done. Songs, plays, screenplays, short stories, it doesn’t matter. If it has been saved to a hard drive, it is golden. Sometimes these people get lucky, and those in a position of power recognize the potential in the idea. But every piece of art requires hard work. Rewrites, new beginnings and sometimes throwing it all out and starting over.
 
Nothing comes easy. Blood, sweat and tears are required and, remember, you are in it for the long haul. So, for your own sake…take it easy!

​Not everything you write will be perfect. Not every rewrite will turn shit to Shinola. The fact is everyone is going to write something that doesn’t quite make it. Granted, some people will love it. But, down in your heart, you will know that it’s not perfect. Some will be near misses; others will involve the broadsides of barns and horseshoes and hand grenades. No matter. You will keep writing because you know this. Even the great Taika Waititi fails.
 
And with that out of the way, let’s have a quick review of the latest Thor. Let’s get some perspective. If I had to give a grade to his previous Marvel film, Thor: Ragnarock (2017), it would be an A++. It was 130 minutes but felt much shorter, the humor flowed naturally and was never forced, and it was awesome. A perfect blend of all the right elements. Cut to 5 years later and Thor: Love and Thunder. 117 minutes (so it is shorter). Great cast with terrific performances by Christian Bale and Natalie Portman, a large city of people working on special effects, and with a result of it being not as good. Just doesn’t compare. It is almost a case of trying too hard. And there is no better example of this than the Zeus sequence. Overlong, overblown, forced. 
 
Is there a lesson here besides waiting for these films to show up on Disney Plus? Yes. Every artist will produce material that is not always equal to their best. Often, there will be great scenes that somehow do not add up to a whole. Sometimes, it has to do with us, sometimes our environment, and sometimes it is just Disney/Marvel and as Robert Blake fondly referred to them as the “suits.” It is never from lack of trying but is merely a law of the universe. 
 
Just keep on writing. Even the best pitcher hits an occasional batter. Even the great Taika Waititi misses the plate. No worries. You will have several more attempts to get it over the plate. Keep pitching.

Bitchin’ About Pitchin’
 
Confession: There is no one worse at pitching their own story than me. On the other hand, if you are one of the nonexistent few and prefer a long rambling diatribe that confuses rather than illuminates, I am your guy.
 
Luckily, I have a new manager who was able to explain it to me in terms that I could understand. Most of you know that I was a stand-up comedian. It seem a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, but I was. Rachel explained to me thusly, pitching is like crowd work. You know, the annoying comedian who immediately after taking the stage, looks into an innocent face in the very front row and asks, what do you do for a living? 
 
Audience Member: I’m in sales.
 
Comedian: It’s hard to believe out of 10 billion sperm you were the fastest.
 
That’s crowd work. Bad crowd work. But crowd work.
 
Thank goodness, pitching it is not about finding out what a producer does for a living. You know that…hopefully. Successful pitching is about connecting. Finding a common thread between you and your audience and using it. This requires a couple of things going in.
 
Make it short and leave your audience wanting more. If they have questions, so much the better. Rachel prefers three to five.
 
A bit of research.  Know your audience. Check out IMDB Pro and any other useful tool that will tell you who you are talking to.
​
Listen!
 
Most pitches are over Zoom now so invest in a Ring light. And if you wear glasses, watch for ring reflection.
 
And most importantly, slow down. Take a few deep breaths and appreciate that you have made it further than most. You are pitching YOUR ideas to someone who can do something about it.

IT’S OFFICIAL! Pleased to announce my association with new management in NYC! We are going to rock this!
 
I will be collaborating with Rachel Vaswani and the very fine, not to mention discerning folks at Citizen Skull. Rachel will be representing me as we traverse the ins and outs of a little business that I call show.
 
You can learn more about Citizen Skull by clicking on the link below. 
 
My posts may be a bit sparse in the next few weeks going into the fall. I have a novel to turn in and getting acclimated with a new manager as well as getting material ready to pitch and shop.
 
As usual, fine people, I will keep you posted.
 
Most Sincerely
 
J.P. Linde

​We chatted a bit last week regarding your writing day. Well, here is an update on mine. Work on the pulp epic continues at a rate of 1500 words a day. Not too vigorous a schedule, and yet one I think I can live with. I have met my goal more often than most and am nearing the end of a final draft in the next couple of weeks,
 
I never go back and edit or rewrite as that can be a distraction. So, knowing that I fully realize that I am going to have some real shit back there. And I mean shit in a bad way. Not like great shit, Maynard. So, I have a feeling there is going to be some shoddy writing, great big plot holes, horrific character arcs, and a general potpourri of crap. But it will be my crap. And, more importantly, it will be my crap and I will work from it. 
 
On another front, I tasted for the first time the nectar that is Chuck Norris Water. For the record, it tastes just like water save for just the slightest of notes of action star perspiration. I don’t know where you buy it, but for god’s sake try it. In all things, EXCEPT political, be like Chuck.
 

​1000 words? 1500? Write all morning and party all afternoon. Like Hemmingway, do you have a standing desk and write standing up? All our perfectly valid as long as you are WRITING.
 
Are you a daily devotee of Elements of Style? Do you practice Saving the Cat or do you prefer the ancient philosophy of The War of Art or Zen and the Art of Writing? Quite commendable but none of them will do you any good unless you are WRITING.
 
It is simple and been said over and over again by many writers much better than me. Do get good, you have to write gooder. No, that wasn’t it. Let me try that again. You need to write ever day. Exercise the muscle. 
 
Ian Fleming, creator of James Bond (and not Cubby Broccoli as some might suggest), was famous for writing fast and never letting the editing process slow his output down. Number one priority for him was the output of words. 
 
“I don't even pause from writing to choose the right word or to verify spelling or a fact,” he explained. “All this can be done when your book is finished.”
 
I love this quote. How many of us write and then go over thousands of times, never getting any further. Plenty of time for rewrites. Son of Ravage took a year to write and two years to edit. Why? Because that’s the way I roll.
 
Whatever your practice, do it every day. Your fiction will thank you for it.
 

It’s time for another addition to J.P. Linde’s popular series: A Writer Must…
 
This is a total fabrication. There is no such series. Never has. But there sure as hell should be.
 
Today’s blog: A writer must be resilient. 
 
“Able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult situations.”
 
Gee, I don’t know. Would this include unrealistic editors? Why, yes. Yes, it would. How about broken promises and downright lies? Sure does. Okay, here’s a tough one. How about rejection, countered with a stunning creative blow? Yep. It covers all of these and many, many more.
 
I understand that some of these blows can be devastating, but I can assure you that all writers, good and bad, have all suffered from one or more. Hell, I have probably suffered more than anybody.  But I can also tell you that you will survive if you never stop believing in yourself, never stop attempting to get better, and never let harmful and toxic people sway your creative life. And, if you do this, particularly paying attention to the “never stop attempting to get better,” you will eventually arrive at some opportunity. Not promising a big one necessarily, but something will happen. I guarantee it! And if it is only proofing a sign for the neighborhood pharmacy (do they even still have these?), it is a writing job. 
 
For the past few years, I had a possible writing job that I was sure would happen. It was like a lousy marriage; the more I put into it, the less I got out. And it was my own damn fault. I kept believing in it…over and over and over again. I was finally faced with more unreturned emails. No, I don’t think an email once a month is a big deal. For whatever reason, I had enough and divorced the creative relationship. Am I sad about it? Yes. Do I feel it is the end of the world? Hell no!  Once the legal separation was complete, I solicited the interest of another person. Guaranteed outcome? Nada. But it is called being resilient. Something we must all learn to do.
 
On another note, I signed a book contract which I will work on over the next several months. Contract signed, and I have already started. Mother Superior from The Sound of Music was right. “When God closes a door, he locks it and throws the key through the nearest window.” Or something like that.
 

​A while back I wrote a short story based on The Purple Zombie, created by the first female comic book creator June Tarpe Mills.  I had a blast and I think you will enjoy a story that has a bit of WW2 intrigue, spies, dames, fighter pilot skeletons, and one giant purple and lovable zombie! That is part of a collection from the fine folks at Prose Press and Pro Se Productions and will be released sometime this fall.
 
Well, I am pleased to announce another great collaboration with these fine folks at Pon an original novel featuring the further adventures of Barry Reese’s very original creation, The Peregrine!
 
Battling both villains from this world and beyond, Max Davies, aka The Peregrine, is a hero for all fans of new pulp. Oh, and did I mention that he is married to a B movie actress who has her own unquenchable thirst for danger? 
 
I hope to capture the true spirit of these lively writings and look forward to taking all of you readers on the ride of your life.
 
I’ll keep you posted.
 

Sometimes there are big doin’s you can ramble on about. Other times, shish. Sometimes, you must wait to see what transpires. You clearly see that your destination is on the other side of the street. You have every intention of crossing the street and arriving at your pre-determined destination. But caution and experience tell you that a lot can happen when crossing the street. I won’t get into particulars, but I think you know what I am talking about.
 
The good news that I can tell you is that it involves another NDA and that I am required to jump through a couple of hoops before we can consider it close to done. The other news is a bit more complicated. Once I get across the street and arrive at my destination, I still have several more destinations to reach before I can consider the task complete. Then and only then will I be able to consider I was successful. 
 
I will reveal more details as soon as I am allowed to. So, you’re just going to have to make do. Remember the immortal words of Captain Jason Nesmith (no relation to Michael), 
 
“Never give up. Never surrender!”