​So, a couple of years back, I was having lunch with a popular director, who made most of his films from the 70s through the 90s, and he happened to ask what I was currently working on. I answered that I worked for a production company writing copy for pitch decks.  “What the hell is a pitch deck?” he asked incredulously. 
 
And he’s not the only person. I know writers with very big reputations that have not heard of the practice. However, it must be noted that screenwriters with big reputations do not need a glossy magazine to sell their work.
 
I have to admit that I was also ignorant of their purpose until I was hired to write the copy. Now, not so much. In fact, I happen to be working on one of my own. If you are unfamiliar, think of them as a glossy magazine-style pitch of your portfolio. Most of them have a little art or photos, a logline, and a brief synopsis. Something that the average executive can glance at between meetings and restroom breaks.
 
Production companies find them helpful in pitching several projects at once and allowing the executive to whittle them down to the ones they want to pursue.
 
It would probably be a good idea to get familiar with the format before making one. Some graphic design companies can help you build a deck but be aware that they will charge you a substantial amount for doing so. Last warning: Cutting and pasting a photo from the web will not cut it. The keyword regarding pitch decks is slick and fun. Copy should be sharp and the artwork as eye-catching as a movie poster.
 
I wish I could show you the several I did. Unfortunately, for reasons I am sure you understand, I can’t. I don’t think the producers I worked for would appreciate my proprietary information sharing.  
 
Anyways, do yourself a favor and investigate it. Ask around, maybe a friend will be able to show you a sample.

​Seems “everybody’s working for the weekend.” Everyone, that is, except me. Between writing all day and my new subscription on BritBox, I’ve been pretty damn busy. The Peregrine novel is about a week away from being turned into the editor at Prose Press. Like most in my profession, I both love and hate it, depending on where I am in the editing process and my overall mood.
 
A very good writer at Spy Magazine, later at Premiere and Entertainment Week, gave me some good advice. I had sent my article on visiting the famous star of “Free Willy (Keiko, the masturbating whale) and was looking for feedback.  He was very kind but offered these words of advice: “Have you done your line-by-line reading yet?” I answered that I hadn’t, which elicited the following response. “Do it.”
 
Doing a line reading of your work is essential. Believe me, it is easy to get sidetracked. Once you start nitpicking, you may never stop. But that is what editing is for. A line reading is your best estimate to see how your reader will understand and enjoy your material. Do it. 
 
A couple of tips. Do not use a computer program to read along. Works for screenwriting, not so much with prose. While both depend on voice, narrative fiction calls for a bit more subtlety and finesse, which you can better comprehend by reading aloud. 
 
That’s all fine and good, J.P., but do you ever take the time to read over your blogs? Sorry, no time. Gotta go.  Besides, do as I say, not as I do.
 
BritBox faves so far:
 
Sherlock Holmes.  (Jeremy Brett is nothing short of brilliant)
 
Poirot. (Again, Actor David Suchet makes the $7.95 a month all worth it.)
 

​I know I’m a couple of weeks late, but what the hell? I eventually got there. Hope you all had a good one. I had a personal best this holiday, making it through the entire east coast New Year's before falling asleep at 9:35 PST. And, hey, I don’t need to wait till 11:59.59 to watch the ball drop. My balls dropped years ago. But enough about me. I am still working on a few very exciting things, but nothing I can name. Hopefully, someday I will be able to enlighten you. 
 
It has been raining since Christmas, and along with all of my California neighbors have been working on a unique little project that, when completed, will be 300 cubits long, 50 cubits wide, and 30 cubits high. Can you guess? Okay. One little hint.  it’s not an app for your phone.
 
 And now for your 30-second review from my recent visit to Los Angeles:
 
Langer’s Delicatessen
“Home of the World Famous #19 Pastrami Sandwich
 
704 South Alvarado, Los Angeles, CA 90057
 
 
 
Review: This place is better than Disneyland, and you don’t have to wait in line. The food is terrific, the waitress calls you honey, and the #19 is the most incredible sandwich in the free world. Don’t take my word for it. See for yourself!
 
New Beverly Cinema
 
“The Movie House that Quentin Built”
 
7165 Beverly Blvd, Los Angeles, CA   90036
 
A Repertory movie theatre that always features a superb calendar of films. Great staff, great flicks, appreciative audiences. Occasionally, they will feature a special guest. At the end of the month, Elliott Gould will be the special guest and discuss the feature presentation, The Long Goodbye. Admission is reasonable, with various film choices to fit everyone’s taste.

​There are many hobbies a person can have. They can play pickleball, ski, skateboard, jog, hike, street race in hot rods, or invest in illegal puppy farms.  When they choose fiction, that’s when I go to work. I carry a pen.
 
The blog you are about to read is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
 
Dum – de – dum – dum – DUM.
 
Nobody is a better world builder than Jack Webb. Oh, you have your Gene Roddenberry’s, oss Whedon's, or your Glen A. Larson’s. But to my way of thinking, no one has built a more unbelievable yet fantastical world than the creator or Dragnet. Nobody looks like his characters, talks like his characters, or even walks like them, yet they are as compelling as any of those found in the fictional Appalachian town of Dogpatch. 
 
Of course, I am talking about the groundbreaking Dragnet 67, 68, 69, and 70. Each season contains some of my favorite memories on television. Now, I realize some purists prefer the Dragnet of the 50s (radio, television, and motion picture). Who can resist an extreme close-up of a fist ready to smash your face? But when we’re talking strictly world-building, nothing even comes close to the latter show.
 
Memorable highlights from each of the seasons. 1967 – the Nazi threatens to blow up a bomb at the neighborhood school (The Big Explosion) or the guru’s open drug house (The LSD Story). 1968 unapologetically gave us the baby in the bathtub (The Big High) and the daring expose on the porn industry (The Big Starlet).
 
Currently, I am reexamining the slightly adjusted tone of the third season. Gone are the titles that emphasized size (The Big Whatever), only to be replaced with episode titles you could really sink your teeth into. Titles that required as much thought as the scripts that inspired them. Public Affairs, Management Services, and of course, my favorite, the aptly titled Community Relations. This last episode brings the procedural to a mountain seminar where everyone sits and talks about their prejudices. Groundbreaking, I tell you. There is so much to unpack in this season. There’s Ginger the marijuana-sniffing dog (Narcotics), and the teenage punks who steel cars, shotguns, and in the words of Officer Bill Gannon describing the poor victim at a bus stop, “Blew his head off, Joe.” 
 
I do not own, Dragnet 1970. As I remember, I was not all impressed when it first aired in, eh, when was that again? But, like my waist size, things change. Now, I can hardly wait. 
 
In a moment, the results from my blog. See ya all next week.
 
Sincerely,
 
The Crimson Crusader

​Okay, so a bit of history you don’t need. I was a Man From U.N.C.L.E. fan. I even remember the black-and-white episodes before they switched over to Living Color. Mostly, it was because of David McCallum and how friggin’ cool I thought he was. Someone, please, bring back the turtleneck. In the sixth grade, I went to Washington D. C. with my entire class. I broke off from my group in the capital building, sneaking down the halls while humming Jerry Goldsmith’s iconic theme. Currently, I own the DVDs of the first season and all of the theatrical movies the studio greedily cobbled together from two-part episodes.  Simply put, I am that big of a fan.
 
That is why when the Guy Ritchie film, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015) was released, I did not attend. My hopes had already been dashed with the 1981 television reunion. Seriously. I just didn’t think I could take another such disappointment. 
 
I recently read a defense of the Ritchie version and decided to try it. Much to my surprise, I enjoyed it thoroughly. More of a reimagining than an actual origin film, it, amazingly enough, sets the just the right one. The look, the feel, the soundtrack, the screenplay, and the direction all work together to give the sixties cold war film just the look it needs. The repartee between Henry Cavill and Arnie Hammer is spot on, the arc of the two characters builds nicely, and each do their part in keeping the spirit of the original television series alive.
 
For all of that, I believe I owe Guy Ritchie an apology. Fuck the James Bond film. You did all right with Uncle. 

​Hey, it wasn’t as I hadn’t warned you. I told you I would be away for a bit, and I was. But no matter. I am back with some exciting news:  Keep writing! That being said, see you next week. And, oh yes, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Valentine's Day.
 
Okay, I will stick around a little bit longer than that. So, you ask, what the hell are you doing? To be honest, I have told you. But what the heck. In the spirit of the holiday season, I will tell you. I’ve been writing.
 
Good night, everybody. See you next week. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses. 
 
Okay, okay. Been working on the final draft of my Peregrine novel, The Last Argonaut, and am about a month away from getting it to the fine people at Pro Se. I can’t tell you more than that, but I will let you know when I get word of a publishing date.
 
Other projects, in various stages, continue to move forward, and I will keep you abreast of those as things happen.
 
In the meantime, I will share my current obsessions:
 
Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis
“Colonel” Tom Parker
Bevo Beavis (see above)
Confidence Man: The Making of Donald Trump and the Breaking of America by Maggie Haberman
Wednesday
Slow Horses
 
May all your obsessions be worthy of your time. 
 
See you in 2023!

​Get out and walk. Really, I mean it. And take those earbuds out. Julie Cameron, the author of The Artist’s Way, urges the artist from every medium to get out there and take a stroll. Not sure what her reasoning is, but I indulge for the time it gives me to think. Think about writing, characters, themes, and, most important, things. That’s right. It doesn’t all have to be about the writing. Just for the record, I am not talking about walks with partners and spouses. Those are equally important, but it is not the dealio I am chatting about now. You need to get out, step away and weigh your options. Your characters, story, and sanity will thank you for it.
 
Or, you can always drink. Up to you really. Who am I to judge? To be honest, having spent all that time in Los Angeles, I very rarely saw Charles Bukowski out for an evening stroll. I guess the wind and rain kept putting out his cigarettes.
 
So there you have it. Your words of wisdom for today.

WTF: It’s blog day.
 
What can I say? I made it back from the Islands in one piece. The only tragedy was losing a pair of iPod Pros, which according to Find My, are currently residing at 1131 B Ave. S, Redmond Washington, 98020.  I have programmed a message to whoever has them that goes like this:
 
Dear Sir or Madam,
Give them back, you fucking thief.
 
Most Sincerely,
 
I think that gets to the point quite nicely.
 
But, if you happen to know the current guardian of my sound technology, give them a call, and let them know. I will be sending a postcard, (with the same message written above), but I am not sure how much good it will really do. Most likely, I will have to resort to buying another pair.
 
Special thanks to Brett and Amy Vail for their hospitality. Tasha, Rasputin, Forrest and June for their undying affection, and, of course, Captain Chad Snorkeling Tours as well as Mount Kīlauea, all of whom know how to show a Haole from Windsor CA a really great time.

Aloha,

Packing for my trip but wanted to let you all know, I will be thinking of you. Oh, and in case you are interested, I will be taking the laptop with and and will be writing. But, before I go, I wanted to leave you with some words of wisdom from none other than Sir Anthony Hopkins.
​