As the world rapidly escalates to WW3, its’ more than reasonable to ask yourself, how much time does humanity have left? It’s a great question and I find myself asking it all the time. The question is, what will be the exact reason for our demise. We have so many options to choose from. Will it be climate change, some as to yet announced pandemic, the complete and utter breakdown of civilization or all-out war? If I was a betting man, I'd go with the trifecta.

So, what are our options? 
 
You can build a bomb shelter in the basement…or…
 
I really enjoy those International House Hunting Shows. You know the ones. They generally feature a nice American couple, or family, looking for a new house somewhere very far away from here. Recent locations that I have video visited include The Mediterranean, The Caribbean, England, Paris, and that sunny place where they filmed a lot of Game of Thrones.  

So, as a primer for getting the hell out of Dodge, I offer this ongoing service to anyone interested.
 
First, it goes without saying that you are going to need a passport. 
 
Unfortunately, I can only give you the legal way. For any other type of “instructions” you’re going to have to consult the Internets. Word of warning. Whatever you do, find a good one. I suggest Blythe (The Forger) from The Great Escape. I hear he does good work. Ask anyone at Stalag Luft III. He also knows a a hell of a lot about birds, particularly the Masked Shrike.
 
For the rest of you, you will have to make do with getting your papers at your local post office. It is a lot slower than Herr Blythe but you can always come early for photo day and enjoy the ambiance. 
 
And now the fun part:

Skip the library. You’re better off with a subscription to Hulu or, better yet, HGTV. And now, sit back, relax, and witness wealthy Americans ask for that quaint European cottage feel but with plenty of closet space. There are plenty of these shows to choose from. The only geographic region not covered is Arctic tundra. But, they are melting anyway, so you might just call it a wash.

Cliff Robertson on all the reasons why it might be a good time to leave (Malone 1987). 
 

​Who still has one, who continues to use it, and how do we stop them?
 
There are still companies with Fax machines. With the advent of email over 30 YEARS before, I am not sure if they even have a reason for existing. May as well own a teletype or one of those fancy, new-fangled computers. You know the type, rows upon rows of blinking lights on bulky machines that fill up an entire room. Just like you would see in any Irwin Allen television show. Oh, and don’t forget the punch hole cards. A stack the size of a small building is all that’s required to spell out “Happy Birthday” using two reams of paper for the dot matrix printer.
 
But I digress. Fax machines are the topic and I have a few thoughts. With applications such as DocuSign why are they even needed? Hell, these days you can apply for a home lone on your smart phone. I know because for the hell of it, I have applied for over seventeen in just the last year. 
 
What am I getting at? Frankly, I don’t know. Accept to say that in the last published edition of the Hollywood Creative Directory, dated 2011, there were over fifty production companies that still utilized the services of the archaic fax machine. Why stop there? Why not keep a torture rack hidden in their secret dungeon?  I’ll wager some, including Don Simpson, did just that. But I doubt the fax machine’s presence is still some part of any modern business model. Maybe it’s some movie business Feng Shui. Or it may be just another way to discourage us new screenwriters from contacting them.  The lack of an email address and the addition of a fax as the only contact number may be part of a deeper “Does not accept unsolicited material” conspiracy.
 
Insidious bastards. Now excuse me while I get my tinfoil hat. In the meantime, this should make you happy.
 

​Why do I love this show so friggin’ much?
 
Is it the most original credit sequence I have ever laid eyes on? Yes. How about the best CGI sidekick of all time or a brilliant soundtrack exclusively comprised of hard and glam rock of the 70’s and 80s? Absolutely. Could it be the topnotch writing of showrunner James Gunn or the stellar of performances of the ensemble cast headlined by WWE wrassler John Cena, at his vein-popping best? Damn Straight!
 
But the true answer is that all the above elements listed above combine to make Peacemaker one of the best shows on television.  And the main kudos for this achievement go to showrunner, Gunn.
 
Fresh of the success The Suicide Squad, Gunn takes us on a personal journey of discovery by none other than Peacemaker, a one-man vigilante who not only believes climate change is a complete hoax --
 
“Yeah, okay. Facebook is lying to me every day for no reason.”
 
But who firmly believes that peace is truly something that is worth killing for. 
 
I have talked previously about a proliferation of mediocre superhero films, The Eternals, being chief among them. I believe that these subpar films are not only ruining original filmmaking but also damaging the truly good comic book stories that come along.  Peacemaker is truly one of the good ones. It’s filled with adult edged humor (of the mostly dark variety), a healthy amount of gore, and a surprisingly emotional pathos that is as heartfelt as it is sincere. 
 
As Yusof “Cat Stevens” was so fond of singing:
 
“Oh Peacemaker take this country
Come take me home again…” 
 
Or something like that. I've never been that good with lyrics.
 

Occasionally, I like to add a little something extra special to my literary attire. For those regular readers of my little blog, you may recall the story of the Hollywood Fez and its untimely appearance at Kennedy/ Marshall Productions. To be honest, the Turkish Chapeau did nothing to advance my career, and ended with the President of Production requesting that “I take the damn thing off.” 
 
Suitably chastised and realizing that I am no John Milius in a Mexican Sombrero, I put away my dream of being a screenwriting fashion influencer and went back to a more sensible approach with Dockers and Polos.
 
Well, twenty years have passed, and I feel the urge to mix things up once again. And save Michael Caine and very few directors, no one lasts that long in the industry.  So, I’m quite confident that on one of any note remembers the Fez.  With that in mind, I am ready to announce what I will be wearing at my next big Hollywood meeting.
 
Hint: What do Errol Flynn, L. Ron Hubbard and Adam West all have in common?
Give up?
​
The ascot!  Yes, that’s right. The little silk snot rag worn stylishly under the collar of your button-down shirt and blue double-breasted blazer.
 
My own fashion accessory arrived courtesy of my daughter and features a matching pocket square for my blazer. I intend to premiere the new additions on my next round of meetings in Tinsel Town this coming March. Not that it will go over any better than my last round featuring the Fez. But, what the hell. How many other opportunities will I be afforded to dress up like David Niven?  Not too many.