J.P. Linde
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Screenplays
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Screenplays
Picture
J.P. Linde
Writer
Picture
​J.P. Linde’s love of storytelling started unexpectedly when he convinced male classmates of his 6th-grade class that Elizabeth Montgomery, the star of Bewitched, was his girlfriend. Since that fateful day, J.P. Linde has worked as an actor in summer-stock productions of  Our Town, Hot L Baltimore, and The Misanthrope and, thankfully, did not appear nude during any performances of the musical Hair. He was one of the founding members of the Portland, Oregon comedy scene,  establishing the improvisational and sketch comedy group, No Prisoners, and appearing in his own one-person show, Casually Insane. He has worked as a professional stand-up comedian, making his national television debut on Showtime’s Comedy Club Network. His musical Wild Space, A Go Go, had its world premiere in Portland at The Embers in 2011.  He has written three novels. His latest,  The Last Argonaut, will be published in 2024 by Pro Se Productions. He co-wrote the horror cult classic Axe to Grind and has worked with some of the leading producers in film and television.
From J.P. Linde Media and El Dorado Press:

A desperate Wyatt Earp pursues Jack London, a boy, and a
grizzled mountain man in a race for a legendary gold mine


Fool's Gold 

The new novel from J.P. Linde
Picture
"Not only is J.P. Linde's FOOL's GOLD a barn burner of a snow western adventure tale, it's also a love story. Linde clearly loves his genre, loves creating within it and loves to keep his readers on the edge of their seat."    Richard Melo (Author of Happy Talk and Jokerman 8).
Also by J.P. and available on 
Amazon!
Picture
https://a.co/d/gsulDTu
"J.P. Linde has successfully delivered a novel that is both a loving homage to the pulp fiction genre and a hilarious satire of it. "
web page hit counters codes Free
<>

Picture
Picture
Visionary Talent Agency
Betsy Magee (Agent)
​646-637-6044
[email protected]
Picture
Dapper Bird Entertainment
Olga Aldama (Manager)
818-967-4041
[email protected]


"Just think about this, Richard."

2/26/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
As the world rapidly escalates to WW3, its’ more than reasonable to ask yourself, how much time does humanity have left? It’s a great question and I find myself asking it all the time. The question is, what will be the exact reason for our demise. We have so many options to choose from. Will it be climate change, some as to yet announced pandemic, the complete and utter breakdown of civilization or all-out war? If I was a betting man, I'd go with the trifecta.

So, what are our options? 
 
You can build a bomb shelter in the basement…or…
 
I really enjoy those International House Hunting Shows. You know the ones. They generally feature a nice American couple, or family, looking for a new house somewhere very far away from here. Recent locations that I have video visited include The Mediterranean, The Caribbean, England, Paris, and that sunny place where they filmed a lot of Game of Thrones.  

So, as a primer for getting the hell out of Dodge, I offer this ongoing service to anyone interested.
 
First, it goes without saying that you are going to need a passport. 
 
Unfortunately, I can only give you the legal way. For any other type of “instructions” you’re going to have to consult the Internets. Word of warning. Whatever you do, find a good one. I suggest Blythe (The Forger) from The Great Escape. I hear he does good work. Ask anyone at Stalag Luft III. He also knows a a hell of a lot about birds, particularly the Masked Shrike.
 
For the rest of you, you will have to make do with getting your papers at your local post office. It is a lot slower than Herr Blythe but you can always come early for photo day and enjoy the ambiance. 
 
And now the fun part:

Skip the library. You’re better off with a subscription to Hulu or, better yet, HGTV. And now, sit back, relax, and witness wealthy Americans ask for that quaint European cottage feel but with plenty of closet space. There are plenty of these shows to choose from. The only geographic region not covered is Arctic tundra. But, they are melting anyway, so you might just call it a wash.

Cliff Robertson on all the reasons why it might be a good time to leave (Malone 1987). 
 


0 Comments

Fax You

2/19/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
​Who still has one, who continues to use it, and how do we stop them?
 
There are still companies with Fax machines. With the advent of email over 30 YEARS before, I am not sure if they even have a reason for existing. May as well own a teletype or one of those fancy, new-fangled computers. You know the type, rows upon rows of blinking lights on bulky machines that fill up an entire room. Just like you would see in any Irwin Allen television show. Oh, and don’t forget the punch hole cards. A stack the size of a small building is all that’s required to spell out “Happy Birthday” using two reams of paper for the dot matrix printer.
 
But I digress. Fax machines are the topic and I have a few thoughts. With applications such as DocuSign why are they even needed? Hell, these days you can apply for a home lone on your smart phone. I know because for the hell of it, I have applied for over seventeen in just the last year. 
 
What am I getting at? Frankly, I don’t know. Accept to say that in the last published edition of the Hollywood Creative Directory, dated 2011, there were over fifty production companies that still utilized the services of the archaic fax machine. Why stop there? Why not keep a torture rack hidden in their secret dungeon?  I’ll wager some, including Don Simpson, did just that. But I doubt the fax machine’s presence is still some part of any modern business model. Maybe it’s some movie business Feng Shui. Or it may be just another way to discourage us new screenwriters from contacting them.  The lack of an email address and the addition of a fax as the only contact number may be part of a deeper “Does not accept unsolicited material” conspiracy.
 
Insidious bastards. Now excuse me while I get my tinfoil hat. In the meantime, this should make you happy.
 
0 Comments

Peacemaker

2/12/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
​Why do I love this show so friggin’ much?
 
Is it the most original credit sequence I have ever laid eyes on? Yes. How about the best CGI sidekick of all time or a brilliant soundtrack exclusively comprised of hard and glam rock of the 70’s and 80s? Absolutely. Could it be the topnotch writing of showrunner James Gunn or the stellar of performances of the ensemble cast headlined by WWE wrassler John Cena, at his vein-popping best? Damn Straight!
 
But the true answer is that all the above elements listed above combine to make Peacemaker one of the best shows on television.  And the main kudos for this achievement go to showrunner, Gunn.
 
Fresh of the success The Suicide Squad, Gunn takes us on a personal journey of discovery by none other than Peacemaker, a one-man vigilante who not only believes climate change is a complete hoax --
 
“Yeah, okay. Facebook is lying to me every day for no reason.”
 
But who firmly believes that peace is truly something that is worth killing for. 
 
I have talked previously about a proliferation of mediocre superhero films, The Eternals, being chief among them. I believe that these subpar films are not only ruining original filmmaking but also damaging the truly good comic book stories that come along.  Peacemaker is truly one of the good ones. It’s filled with adult edged humor (of the mostly dark variety), a healthy amount of gore, and a surprisingly emotional pathos that is as heartfelt as it is sincere. 
 
As Yusof “Cat Stevens” was so fond of singing:
 
“Oh Peacemaker take this country
Come take me home again…” 
 
Or something like that. I've never been that good with lyrics.
 
0 Comments

The Accoutrement

2/4/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
Occasionally, I like to add a little something extra special to my literary attire. For those regular readers of my little blog, you may recall the story of the Hollywood Fez and its untimely appearance at Kennedy/ Marshall Productions. To be honest, the Turkish Chapeau did nothing to advance my career, and ended with the President of Production requesting that “I take the damn thing off.” 
 
Suitably chastised and realizing that I am no John Milius in a Mexican Sombrero, I put away my dream of being a screenwriting fashion influencer and went back to a more sensible approach with Dockers and Polos.
 
Well, twenty years have passed, and I feel the urge to mix things up once again. And save Michael Caine and very few directors, no one lasts that long in the industry.  So, I’m quite confident that on one of any note remembers the Fez.  With that in mind, I am ready to announce what I will be wearing at my next big Hollywood meeting.
 
Hint: What do Errol Flynn, L. Ron Hubbard and Adam West all have in common?
Give up?
​
The ascot!  Yes, that’s right. The little silk snot rag worn stylishly under the collar of your button-down shirt and blue double-breasted blazer.
 
My own fashion accessory arrived courtesy of my daughter and features a matching pocket square for my blazer. I intend to premiere the new additions on my next round of meetings in Tinsel Town this coming March. Not that it will go over any better than my last round featuring the Fez. But, what the hell. How many other opportunities will I be afforded to dress up like David Niven?  Not too many.
0 Comments

    RSS Feed

    Picture

    Archives

    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly