Okay, so I have watched all of them. What can I say other than I am an unapologetic Trekker. In offer of proof, I testify that I have seen Star Trek: The Motion Picture more than any one person, anywhere, living, or dead. And I dare you to prove me wrong.
 
Now, just to be clear, none the series I have ranked here are pre–Paramount BP (Before Plus). As much as I would love to talk about the real relationship between Miles O’ Brien and Dr. Julien Bashir, we will leave that for another day. 
 
Note: Please keep in mind, that generally I like all these shows. It’s just that some of them I love more than others. And, as much as I want to see an animated Kate Mulgrew teaching us life lessons like a holographic librarian, I neglected to include ST: Prodigy.
 
5. ST: Discovery
 
First two seasons while sometimes uneven provide a fun mix of adventure, nostalgia, and original storytelling. Once the show jumps ahead into the future, it seems to lose its way.  
 
4. ST: Lower Decks
 
An animated half hour comedy series based on the adventures of lower deck crewmembers is a great idea. The voice actors are suburb and carry off their assignments with a palatable glee. Good trek is funniest when the humor is not forced. In animation, things need to be a bit bigger, more exaggerated and I’m not entirely sure it works. 
 
3. ST: Short Treks
 
I am a huge fan of this show. The easily digestible storytelling is sometimes the hardest, but these writers make it look so easy. Some standout episodes to me are Q & A, featuring Spock’s first day on the Enterprise and Ephraim and Dot which takes us on a delightful tour of Star Trek Canon.
 
2. ST: Picard
 
This number two slot is well deserved. And it moved here solely based on season two. I do not want to give away any spoilers, but the last episode is a tear-jerker and one of the finest episodes ever written for any Star Trek series. Bravo!
 
 
Drum Roll!
 
ST: Strange New Worlds
 
Very respectful of Canon but not afraid to take a chance or two. A throwback to all the things that make Star Trek great. We are not even through with the first season and there has not been an episode that I have not loved. Too many standout performances to mention. Anson Mount’s Pike is incredible, as well as Celia Rose Gooding as Uhura and Jess Bush bringing so many new dimensions into the life of Christine Chapel.  Enjoy Episode 8 (The Elysian Kingdom)! Both hilarious and heartwarming. 
 
Live long and prosper.

Fall of 1977 was first attempt at living in Los Angeles. I had just completed my Summer Stock commitment and had $500 dollars in my pocket, a beat-up Pontiac Grand Prix (which I purchased for $100 of those dollars), and absolutely no prospects. Unfortunately, no one (including Gene Roddenberry), was hiring vagabond actors), so I did the next best thing. Circling an ad in a local trade called Drama-Logue, I showed up in Beverly Hills for a job calling businesses throughout the country and selling Bic pens.  The father of the owner happened to be in the office and was currently hiring for his construction job in the Hollywood Hills. With no construction experience whatsoever, I was hired. Job was 8 to 5 M-F and paid five bucks an hour.  No paperwork, paid in cash. Sold!
 
Ray must have been in his late seventies, had late-stage emphysema, smoked at least a pack of Merit Golds a day and also knew nothing about construction. Needless to say, it was a match made in heaven. The job was a house in the Hollywood hills just off Hollywood Blvd. Next door to the house that was being renovated was the hairdresser to the stars. Well, at least two stars: George Peppard and Artie Johnson.  In my four months of working there, I never saw either George or Artie and seldom saw the hairdresser. But I did speak regularly to his elderly mother who seemed to never tire of her housecoat and slippers. A carpenter, who sold great marijuana on the side, was my supervisor. For the record, I never called in as it was probably the best job I ever had in my life. 
 
For the interest of historical accuracy, I will tell you my entire work schedule. Please keep in mind, save for the occasional errand I would run in Ray’s convertible Mercedes, my schedule and how I spent my day never changed.
 
7 am. Wake up and get ready for work, listening to either Boz Scaggs, Electric Light Orchestra or Weather Report. Wake and bake.
 
8 am. Arrive at work and smoke a joint, waiting for the carpenter or Ray (Merit Gold) to arrive.
 
9 am. Visit with George Peppard’s hairdresser’s mother. 
 
9: 15. Continue to wait.
 
9:30. Smoke another joint.
 
10:00. The carpenter shows up and we smoke another joint. The carpenter walks around and points out several items that we need to get done.
10:30. Carpenter leaves for his other job.
 
11:00. Do something that looks like I’ve been working.
 
12:00 pm. Break for Lunch. Drive to the Alpha Beta Market for a quart of cheap beer and for two hot dogs at the stand. (For the record, there was a restaurant on the corner, and a Pussycat Theatre across the street).
 
1:00 pm return to work. Walk around and wonder what I should do. Arrival of Ray. Watch him cough and smoke, pointing out all the work that I have accomplished. Ray is impressed. I look next door and the hairdresser’s mother, still in housecoat, is shaking her head disapprovingly.
 
2:00. Maybe do some work. Maybe not. Sometimes I am too tired from the quart of beer. Sometimes they give me a sledgehammer and tell me to knock out a wall. For the record, I am always up for anything involving a sledgehammer.
 
3:00 Break time. Carpenter returns and we smoke another joint.
 
4:00 Hairdresser returns home. He’s no Jon Peters but he does have nice hair. He’s nice enough to relate stories of cutting hair for two major stars. 
 
5:00 lock the gate that leads to the two houses and drive home.
 
Rinse and repeat until December.
 
 I was never fired, reprimanded in any way for my work ethic (not counting the disapproving works of the mother), and am not really sure why I didn’t return after Christmas break.
 
Oh yeah, Ray died.

This whole pandemic has transformed the entire landscape of the entertainment industry. Companies have either downsized or closed altogether, long-term staff abandoning careers with the frequency off lemmings leaping of icy cliffs. 
 
Even more reason for today’s topic speedy responses to all entertainment business.
 
Case in point. For anyone not familiar with this segment, this is where I highlight a mistake and tell you not to do it. Sounds simple enough, right? Apparently not for me.
 
December 18, I pitched to New York production company what I thought would be a damn good story. I had sent them a story bible along with a detailed synopsis of the pilot and first ten episodes. They responded favorably and requested a script when it was completed.
 
To say I worked hard on three 30-minute episodes is a bit of an understatement. But I wanted to make sure everything was perfect. 
 
I emailed the complete script on 4/21. 
 
Cut to crickets. The loud, obnoxious crickets from an empty field. And then came the email.
 
“As I am sure you’ve heard, there have been some recent shake-ups in the industry. Major buyers are re-evaluating their strategies, and as a result we are shifting our focus to our projects already in development to wait out the storm.” 
 
Well, there you have it. In my defense, I was attempting to make it as perfect as I possibly could. Now, would I have been luckier if I had turned the script in earlier? Perhaps. I may even be one of the lucky have had one of the lucky projects already in development. Four months to completion just happened to be way too much time. 
 
Lesson learned.
 
Get on it. They ask for something, get it to them as quickly as humanly possible. 

(Pictured: partial budget from unmade Touristers 2008)
 
Have you ever written up an Independent Film Budget? Do you even want to? Trust me, I have no idea what I am doing, and I tried it. It is more frustrating than golf and only three times more exerting than attempting an IRS 10-40 long form (with deductions and additional income of course).
 
For the record, I must admit to having no idea what anything costs to buy, rent, or barter. Every figure was either taken from the internet or my imagination, so we just must assume that they are wrong. To make it even more challenging, I have no idea of how to set up my Excel sheet. But did that stop me? Hell no. I charged in any way.
 
So just for shits and giggles, let’s assume that this is a low budget horror comedy. Let’s also assume that only two of the actors have any sort of Hollywood career and that the rest are going to be kidnapped from local community theaters. Let also assume the same about the crew. DP a minor league pro, the rest lured to the job with the promise of fame, the hardship of 12-hour days and the faint wisp of enough cash to perhaps purchase a 32-inch flat-screen television from Walmart. Insurance and such have not been figured out as yet because, hey, I don’t know what the hell I am doing.
 
Still, I press on. My above the line costs (without writer/director and producer fees) are coming in around $75,000.00. The rest I have at roughly $80,000.00.  This is all based on 10-to-12-hour days with a two-week shooting schedule. Maybe I should have budgeted for more cocaine.
 
So, let’s bring this slow moving, overloaded, broken-down train to the station. What does this all mean. Well, in 2022 can a low budget film still come in at under $250,000.00. Where will this money come from? I certainly don’t have it. Do you? 
 
I am not sure if this little story will be ongoing or not. We shall have to see. In the meantime, take some time out for yourself and carve out an independent film budget. I swear, it will make you feel like a real Robert Evans.
 
“The only way you can make a deal is if you’re ready to blow it.” – Robert Evans