J.P. Linde
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J.P. Linde
Writer
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​J.P. Linde’s love of storytelling started unexpectedly when he convinced male classmates of his 6th-grade class that Elizabeth Montgomery, the star of Bewitched, was his girlfriend. Since that fateful day, J.P. Linde has worked as an actor in summer-stock productions of  Our Town, Hot L Baltimore, and The Misanthrope and, thankfully, did not appear nude during any performances of the musical Hair. He was one of the founding members of the Portland, Oregon comedy scene,  establishing the improvisational and sketch comedy group, No Prisoners, and appearing in his own one-person show, Casually Insane. He has worked as a professional stand-up comedian, making his national television debut on Showtime’s Comedy Club Network. His musical Wild Space, A Go Go, had its world premiere in Portland at The Embers in 2011.  He has written three novels. His latest,  The Last Argonaut, will be published in 2024 by Pro Se Productions. He co-wrote the horror cult classic Axe to Grind and has worked with some of the leading producers in film and television.
From J.P. Linde Media and El Dorado Press:

A desperate Wyatt Earp pursues Jack London, a boy, and a
grizzled mountain man in a race for a legendary gold mine


Fool's Gold 

The new novel from J.P. Linde
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"Not only is J.P. Linde's FOOL's GOLD a barn burner of a snow western adventure tale, it's also a love story. Linde clearly loves his genre, loves creating within it and loves to keep his readers on the edge of their seat."    Richard Melo (Author of Happy Talk and Jokerman 8).
Also by J.P. and available on 
Amazon!
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https://a.co/d/gsulDTu
"J.P. Linde has successfully delivered a novel that is both a loving homage to the pulp fiction genre and a hilarious satire of it. "
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Visionary Talent Agency
Betsy Magee (Agent)
​646-637-6044
[email protected]
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Dapper Bird Entertainment
Olga Aldama (Manager)
818-967-4041
[email protected]


Notes

7/29/2023

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From my writer/producer friend Mark Verheiden: 
 
“A "media expert" on the radio this morning closed out his comments on ending the SAG/WGA strikes by offering this ideal solution: "Make better content, less bad content." Leaving aside the whole "content" word (which I hate), gee, WHY DIDN'T WE ALL THINK OF THIS BEFORE?”
 
I love the comment and Mark’s observation because of its blatant “duh” factor. 
 
Bad shit on the big and small screen is not the writers' fault. It is because the “suits.” as actor and un-convicted wife-killer Robert Blake referred to them, are so risk averse that they are allergic to original material. Now, of course, some original material does manage to find it’s way onto the screen. But the amount of these movies and television shows are getting fewer and fewer. 
 
Ironically, the juggernauts of Marvel and LucasFilm have almost destroyed Disney. And while rehashing classics seems a sound practice, audiences are now saying, “nah, too much cotton candy” makes me fart.”
 
Do not blame the writer. Do not blame the producer showrunner. Blame the people who give the former the notes.
 
Whiplash:
 
“He’s good at drumming. We get it.”
 
Hidden Figures:
 
“Do we have to have so much math?”
 
Remake of The Magnificent Seven:
 
“Do they have to wear cowboy hats and sport facial hair?”
 
(The above notes were taken from an excellent article in thewrap.com titled: Oscar-Nominated Screenwriters Share Worst Studio Notes: ‘So Where are the White People?’)  
The people who wrote these questions do not love movies or storytelling. They like hearing themselves speak and making money. You find people who love movies and love storytelling, and you will not have a problem.
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.Summer Fun 2023

7/22/2023

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​The planet is dying, the WGA and SAG/AFTRA are fighting for their very existence, and I can’t seem to figure out how to center align or format a paragraph on my Office 365 for iPad. This may be the straw that broke this camel’s back. 
 
Okay, false alarm. I have finally reasoned it out and can now return to my quiet life of desperation, with the devil may care of not giving a shit what happens next.
 
Kidding. I do care very much. I hoped this week’s blog would be a little more lighthearted, but since I have run out of videos of cats playing the piano, crazed flying squirrels, and men getting whacked in the nuts, I will be forced to rely on my storytelling ability. As I write this, I am sitting outside, in Northern CA, with a projected temperature of over 100 degrees. 
 
So, here we go. A story problem: 
 
Adrianna has 10 pieces of gum to share with her friends. There wasn’t enough gum for all her friends, so she went to the store and got 70 pieces of strawberry gum and 10 pieces of bubble gum. How many pieces of gum does Adrianna have now?
 
Give up? For all of you legislators in Florida who are too busy rewriting the Black History in this country, it’s ninety.
 
Okay, I found a video that you may find amusing. It’s called River Tubing in Florida. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. I need to get out of this heat before I do something stupid. 
​Admit it, it’s much better than some cat playing the piano. I hear the AI over at the AMPTP has already optioned the rights.
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Hollywood vs Everybody

7/15/2023

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​Here we go!  I don’t think any of us know how big this whole strike thing really is. Two huge entertainment unions against “the man.” And when I say man, what I really mean is, “THE MAN.” Purchasing our music has changed, and will never return to the neighborhood record store, Sam Goody’s or Tower Records. All gone. With it, the way we listened and purchased music and, most important, how the artist was paid. For the most part, I don’t think Musicians actually knew what was happening until they woke up, and “poof” it was all gone. They were too late to do anything about it. Some called it progress.
 
Well, here we are, facing the end of film and television as we once knew it. No one is waiting for the whole damn thing to disappear this time. This time artists are fighting for their lives, livelihood, proper pay, and respect for their artistic endeavors.
 
I am on Linkedin, no brag, it’s one of the places in social media where I like to hang. Get away from the other social media noise and shaming. No body shaming on Linkedin, just income shaming. And, hey, who couldn’t use a bit of monetary inspiration from time to time? Anyway, there are two schools of thought on this whole affair.  One school of thought is basically the “you go get ‘em” roar that is heard all over social media platforms. The other is far more pessimistic, that the enemy camp will settle for nothing less than the scorched earth approach to show business. These latter posts are written with all the emotion of a Vulcan, merely stating what they believe is actually going to happen. Because of this “new model” that Covid and streaming have brought about, there should no more need for unions.
 
I beg to differ. They are needed now more than ever.
 
“The only effective answer to organized greed is organized labor.”  Thomas Donahue
 
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Everything Old is...Old

7/8/2023

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​I had an industry someone (fill in the blank) circle to reconnect, hopefully. Despite my being jettisoned months ago, the person wanted to see about hooking back up to “assist” with my career. I was polite, thanking the person for reaching out but explained courteously that I did not need her services. I stress the spirit in which I dealt with this, as it was the polar opposite of my feelings when I was released. But herein lies the lesson. Thanks to tracking on IMDB Pro, people can and will come back around. No big deal, but think long and hard about how you responded. It’s like returning to a romantic entanglement that did not work the first time. As a rule, the issues that caused the breakup will most likely remain. 
 
Okay, that is your little warning for today, grasshoppers. 
 
A special thank you to all that have commented on the website. I appreciate all your comments…even the spam ones trying to cure my chronic erectile dysfunction. Thanks for taking the time, and keep them coming. 
 
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Famous Acronyms of Filmland

7/1/2023

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Do you remember that magazine Famous Monsters of Filmland? For a young kid and monster fan, it had it all. Grainy photos of our favorite creatures and monstrosities from our favorite films. Interviews with make-up artists and sometimes even the stars themselves.  Well, I am thinking of starting my own.
 
Famous Acronyms of Filmland:
 
Each week, a different acronym for an evil organization.  There are so many to choose from that I literally have the first year mapped out.
 
S.P.E.C.T.R.E.
 
Special Executive for Counterintelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion.
 
C.O.B.R.A.
 
Criminal Organization of Bloodiness, Revenge, and Assassination.
 
For the sweetheart Valentine issue, I have the following planned:
 
L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.
 
The League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments in Naughtiness
 
T.H.R.U.S.H.
 
The Technological Hierarchy for the Removal of Undesirables and the Subjugation of Humanity
 
Which is not to be confused with the evil organization to be feature cover story:
 
A.M.P.T.P.
 
Which stands for -- Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers. If you are interested in who has a seat at this rather larger table, it is as follows: AMPTP member companies include the major motion picture studios including Paramount, Sony, Universal, Disney, Warner Brothers, ABC, CBS, Fox, and NBC, along with streaming services Netflix, Apple, Amazon, and Quibi.  Just kidding about Quibi. The little streamer that couldn’t.
 
For the record, the evil lair for the AMPTP is not inside some volcano or underwater lair but in Sherman Oaks. 
 
All that is missing is a motto. 
 
“The World is Not Enough.” Horrifying and appropriate, but it’s taken.  That motto belongs to James Bond. 
 
I wonder if they have a flag.
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