​(Writer’s Notebook 4/20/2020) So, let me share a brief note of what my life would have been if this pandemic had never happened. To start things off, at this very second, I’d have been patiently meandering in line at TSA in SFO for a flight to Philadelphia (City of Brotherly Love) and home of the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, the famed Rocky Balboa Steps and host to show business icon, crooner and television host, Mike Douglas. I know those are a hell of a lot of reasons, but why Philadelphia? Well, I’d have travelled halfway across the country not to triumphantly ascend the Rocky Steps, or co-host with Mike D. After several hours of laying over, My wife would have been catching the late afternoon flight to Charles De Gaulle Airport and Paris France!
 
Now, I know everyone and their brother, up to including my wife, my daughter and my cat (see Chuck Jones’ Gay Pur-ee), have visited the City of Light. Alas, I have not, and I was sort of looking forward to it. We would’ve arrived on the 21st, taken the train to the city, checked-in to our small but overpriced hotel, taken a leisurely stroll down the Left Bank, insulted several Parisians for not pronouncing something correctly and maybe even started an International incident. But, all of that is not to be and we remain here, sequestered at home in Northern CA, witnessing morons all across the country dust off their Confederate Flags and protest their right to infect others with a very lethal disease. Go US of A. 
 
So, with that in mind, I have decided to tour France the best way, and maybe the only way I can, through my imagination. I will share it all with you, just as it happens in my mind’s eye.
 
Day 1 (April 21)
 
My wife, bless her heart, agreed to share a taxi with a nice, young gentlemen who also happened to memorize the address to our hotel. Before we had even unpacked our bags, several thugs arrived, dragged both of us out from under the bed and sold us into white slavery. Both my wife’s and my father have passed away and, so, well we are kind of shit out of luck. But, on the bright side, as a side trip, it looks like we may get to see Turkey and, if we play our cards right, the Middle East.
 
Day 2 (April 22) Lourve
 
We later escaped the slavers and decided to tour the Louvre. Geez, there is a lot to see here. And, did you know the Mona Lisa’s portrait is only as big as a postage stamp? I sure didn’t. Bumped into a chap that called himself Jason. Bad memory but seems like a nice enough guy. We decided to make him our tour guide for the day. Boy, was that a mistake. The guy seems to get in a hell of a lot of altercations. Seriously. But he is a great driver, so there is that.

​Day 3 (April 23) The War Museum and Napoleon’s Tomb
 
Boy, the days are passing quickly here. Luckily, I have plenty of You Tube videos to remind me my glorious days on the Continent. Picked a bad day to visit Napoleon. As it turned out, it was exactly the same day that the President and his cabinet had decided to visit. I did catch a quick glimpse of 45 which I took using my Nikon 3100. I apologize for the blurriness of the photo, but I refuse to use it in smart mode. I used the photo app to turn it into black and white. Still, you can clearly see the reverence on the face of our President. What a guy. 
 

​Day 4 (the Eiffel Tower and River Cruise)
 
Ever parachuted from the Eiffel Tower? Neither had I and there is no time like the present to live my dream. First, you have to dress the part. I decided on a outfit made entirely in black (it’s so slimming). I skipped paying the admission, jumped the turnstile and proceeded up the steps, pursued by a very old wine steward in a tuxedo. He was persistent for his advanced age but, with the aid of a stunt man, pursued me all the way to the top. Everyone is right. The view is fabulous. I did manage to get off without being caught and had a glorious view of the Seine and the surrounding city. Also managed to catch the River Cruise back to the hotel. 
 

​Day 5 Normandy – One of the true disappointments about the trip cancellation was not meeting up with my good friend Jerry Lambert. Little known fact about us, we are both avid World War 2 reenactors and were looking forward to getting on Omaha Beach and advancing our passion with a few fellow enthusiasts. A special thanks to Lori for holding the camera. Thank goodness she got the entire scene in one take. But that’s just Lori. She’s a real pro.

Day 6 – The Left Bank
​
Stumbled upon a delightful collection of street urchins who expressed an interest in my ability to sing George Gershwin, tap dance while wearing a kerchief.
 
Seems like it was all over too quickly. Ah, imagination, we'll always have Paris.

​We have another very special guest next week. 
 
Social Scientist, documentarian and Conspiracy Activist Brutt Dale will be joining us to share some of his important work on whatever the hell people like him work on. You owe it to yourself to take a long, discerning look at his important work.

​Music is vital to keeping us sane and connecting us all to something far greater. I wanted to dedicate this week’s post to celebrating some of the music and various artists that have meant so much to me over the decades. Buckle up as we are going to cover a lot of years, the choices diverse as the times when they were recorded. So, kick back and enjoy a snapshot of some of the artists and songs that bring back such great memories and inspire me during this little thing we call the great pandemic of 2020. 

​Photograph (Ringo Starr, written by George Harrison and Ringo Starr) 1973
 
An anthem for the true romantic and no one could bring it to life with more enthusiastic and joyous melancholy than none other than Ringo Starr. This song seems to bridge a transition in my life of no Fab Four to decades of great songwriting and performances from the remaining members.

​I remember to waking up to Birdland by Weather Report virtually every morning for the entire year of 1977. It seemed to be the song of choice for shaking off the cobwebs and getting your day started. The appeal also happened to be universal. Moving to CA and transitioning to a new relationship, the catchy tune became a kind of musical Groundhog Day. To this day I am not able to shake the band’s jazzy influence.

​September (Earth, Wind & Fire) 1978
 
There is a reason this tune is in every geriatric buddy comedy movie over the last decade. How can you not hear it and not remember a day when all you really cared about was the next great party? 
 

​All Over the World (Electric Light Orchestra) 1980
 
In the late seventies, I was introduced to a simple little band that happened to call itself The Electric Light Orchestra. The infusion of strings in rock and roll has always been there but in the case of Jeff Lynne, it was joyously blatant. I was gifted ELO along with a series of other albums and portable stereo by my girlfriend upon moving to Los Angeles. Being in a long-distance relationship, I tended to play the hell out of Telephone Line but the band’s influence in my life never 

​We Got the Beat (Go-Gos) 1980
 
I owned a Mercury Lynx, Seattle Seahawk Edition and purchased it new with absolutely no frills. My friend built me a cassette player that was made from a cardboard box and that sat in the passenger seat. In the rare time that I had a guest passenger, it was relegated to the back seat. That was okay as I never had to change the tape. Beauty and the Beat was on the extended playlist

Putting Out Fire (David Bowie) 1982
 
Well, something had to replace the Beauty and the Beat cassette for top play. This theme from “Cat People” is one of the best title tracks of all time. And nobody could perform something as hauntingly beautiful as this master of rock and roll.

​Neutron Dance (Pointer Sisters) 1983
 
Shelled out over 50 dollars to see the Pointer Sisters in the very early nineties. They blew through their headlining set in in just over 45 minutes, making the ghost of Elvis Presley green with envy. Geez. I miss cocaine.

​Raspberry Beret (Prince and the Revolution) 1985
 
Who knew that Raspberry was spelled with a p? Well, I just did. Anyway, we are now in the smack dab in the glorious. Prince had scored a mega-hit with the movie Purple Rain and was now free to make the top forty charts his bitch. Here was an artist at the top of his game and this song only solidifies this appeal. 

Sleepy Joe’s Café (Bruce Springsteen) 2019
 
I know we’ve jumped several decades but this artist seems to transcend time itself. I have listened to him for over 40 years. I have seen him live and there is not a concert like it. He’s a genius and Sleepy Joe’s Café is just one in hundreds of his songs that I listen to over and over and over. I can think of no better artist than to celebrate the end of my little list then with the troubadour for the common man. Thank you, Bruce!
 
And thank all of you for making this blog one of the highlights of my writing career. Stay safe and remember, we got this! 

COMING SOON: A review of the book that blew the Kennedy Assassination Conspiracy wide open. Don't miss a review of the book that Oliver Stone referred to as his bible while researching JFK .
​

​First and foremost, Happy Passover and upcoming Easter. In the Linde household, we have forgone the early morning search for Easter Eggs and will be looking for rolls of toilet paper instead. Before we get started, another heartfelt thank you to the delightful Angela McKennie for her brilliant guest blog last week. Excellent work and before she gets famous, I hope that she visits us again.
 
And now, without further ado, a good ol’ fashioned Cog fight.
 
John Wayne, Warren Oates and Jeff Bridges have all shared the distinct privilege of playing the western scalawag, outlaw and lawman Rooster Cogburn. Today we’ll take a look at the performances of each and what special talents they brought to their depiction of the one-eyed fat man.
 

​True Grit: A Further Adventure (1978). While Oates, a great actor, does his best to live up to the bigger than life character, the decidedly television material doesn’t deserve more than a quick look. Even the title fails to make sense. As one reviewer noted, “Grit is something you either have or do not. It can’t really go on a “further adventure.””
 
The real story here is distinctly different acting approaches of Jeff Bridges and John Wayne. While Wayne brings a bravado bigger than life performance to his Oscar winning performance, Bridges’ portrayal is rooted closer to the source material and has an authenticity that simply can’t be matched. The Rocky Mountains is no Arkansas and as much as I adore all things Elmer Bernstein, the haunting gospel themes of Carter Burwell capture the true darkness and feel of a real American frontier.

​It’s a pity that Hal B Wallis thought a sequel to True Grit was needed. The western remake of The African Queen was not really necessary, and the overall story and direction were nothing more than a spirited swing and a miss. While the chemistry between Hepburn and Wayne was memorable, it is simply not enough to elevate the film to the character’s former glory.
 
A quick note about the supporting characters in both films. First, Glen Campbell, while thoroughly unprepared for such a role, he is not all that bad. What he lacks in talent, he makes up for in rosy-faced sincerity. Kim Darby is wonderful and Jeff Corey, Robert Duvall, Dennis Hopper are all top-notch. In the Coen’s classic, Hailee Steinfeld is a revelation as Mattie Ross and Matt Damon brings considerably more focus to his interpretation of the character of Texas Ranger LaBouef.

​“It's partly a question of point-of-view. The book is entirely in the voice of the 14-year-old girl. That sort of tips the feeling of it over a certain way. I think [the book is] much funnier than the movie was so I think, unfortunately, they lost a lot of humor in both the situations and in her voice. It also ends differently than the movie did. You see the main character – the little girl – 25 years later when she's an adult. Another way in which it's a little bit different from the movie – and maybe this is just because of the time when each movie was made – is that it's a lot tougher and more violent than the movie reflects. Which is part of what's interesting about it.” – Ethan Coen
 
While Wayne won the Academy Award for his performance, it is important to remember that Jeff Bridges was also nominated for the same role. Coen’s version of the film was also nominated for Best Picture, Best Director and Best Adapted Screenplay. 
 
Food for thought and both films are definitely worth visiting while shuttered in place.
 

Well, that about wraps this little blog for this week. Oh, and before I forget, if you are a fan of pop culture and Hollywood icons throughout the decades, check this out:

Perhaps I should have mentioned that this most excellent blogger happens to be my daughter. Oh well, maybe I will remember next week.

(It’s hard to believe, but I have known Angela McKennie for 10 years. She was the first name that came up when we were looking for a director for Wild Space A Go Go. For whatever reason, she turned us down and I will always regret not having the opportunity to work with her. She’s intelligent, funny and possesses a knowledge of pop culture that is second to none. And when you are smack dab in the middle of a potentially lethal pandemic, I can think of no one better suited to entertain us.)

​It is a blessing in disguise that the current global pandemic has required us to cancel our spring break travel plans. Sure, we had a full agenda of nonstop family fun on the horizon: seeing “Hamilton” in San Francisco, touring the Winchester Mystery House, and visiting Alcatraz for the first time in our lives. What could be more thrilling? But sometimes life unfolds in mysterious ways. When we booked the trip in December, we had no way of knowing that - only a short three months later - world events would lead us to spend our vacation in a prison of a totally different kind.

Nevertheless, we are exceedingly grateful for this opportunity. Being housebound, we now have a rare chance to spend quality time with our children, and our kitchen contractor Phil. We will use this precious time to make lots of memories. After all, it seems like only yesterday that Phil was doing the cabinet demolition. Before we knew it, he had graduated to building the stove surround. We are afraid to blink, as we know it is inevitable that he will soon finish installing the molding and then it will be time for him to leave the nest and go off into the world to experience his own adventures. While he might not even realize it yet, I think Phil is grateful for this time, too.

​Every day he is with us, we find new ways to treasure this time.  For example, on Monday we tried to get our two teenage daughters to come out of their rooms to spend time with us.  Perhaps to play a game, look at family photos, or just talk to us about their lives.  For the pushback we got, you would think we had asked them to donate a kidney.  Phil, on the other hand, eagerly regaled us with tales of his visits to Lowe’s and the difference between copper and plastic tubing.  What a riot!
 
Not only does he enthusiastically share his knowledge with us, but he continually delights us with surprises!  On Wednesday, after returning home from a rare outing to find a roll of toilet paper, I went into the guest room to find an array of large holes dotting the ceiling and all of my belongings piled onto the bed.  It was pure whimsey.  Who knew that the best way to get to the electrical system in the kitchen would be to tear apart my one and only sanctuary? Phil, that’s who!
 
Lessons we have learned from Phil include “How to Properly use Masking Tape,” “Why the Electrician Doesn’t Know What He’s Talking About,” and “Hey, Did You Know There’s a Rat in Your Garage?”  Ha!  How perfect.  What worldwide plague would be complete without some adorable vermin?  Not only did Phil not hold back on drawing our attention to this good fortune, but he explained to us in colorful detail how to make the BEST rat trap using only a 5-gallon bucket and a soda can.  This is the kind of education we just can’t get from books; it can only come from Phil.  Or possibly YouTube.
 
While the future is uncertain, one thing is sure:  we feel extremely lucky that this project has gone a full seven days over schedule and required nonstop work every single day including weekends.  It’s not done yet, either!  Like the COVID-19 outbreak, it feels like it might go on forever!  After all, he hasn’t even gotten to the backsplash or the flooring. It is likely that he will spend many more lunch hours curled up downstairs on our loveseat taking his daily nap.  He looks like an angel when he is sleeping; I wish you could see it.
 
When that fateful day comes and he does bid us farewell, his bill for time-and-materials-over-budget will be the only thing we have left to serve as a sweet memento of our time together.  That, and our kitchen.  For now, we will continue to cherish these days, and gather our rosebuds while we may; life is short, and moments with Phil are fleeting.