J.P. Linde
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J.P. Linde

Writer
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Visionary Talent Agency
visionarytalentagency.com
323-890-6160 phone
betsymagee@visionarytalentagency.com
Beverly Hills, CA   90210
1995: AROUND TOWN - KOIN TV (Portland Oregon)
In my brief 3 months as Entertainment Reporter, I won 16 Emmys and three Pulitzer Prizes.
You can now gift the entire J.P. Linde collection of novels and films. “SON OF RAVAGE,” “THE HOLOGRAPHIC DETECTIVE AGENCY” and, of course, the campy horror film classic “AXE TO GRIND.” All three make excellent gifts. And while you’re at it, add a couple of J.P. Linde COMEDY CLUB NETWORK appearances to your digital library. You can find all of my appearances on Amazon Prime at a very affordable price. Give the gift that will keep on giving. Get your J.P. Linde Media Bundle today!

“The most frequent side effects associated with the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are tachycardia, blurred vision, abdominal pain, and diarrhea. Decreases in appetite and rash/pruitus are also common. Those patients purchasing the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are at risk for developing extrapyramidal symptoms, including dystonia, parkinsonism, and restlessness, in addition to neuroleptic malignant syndrome and tardive dyskinesia. In some cases, The J.P. Linde Media Bundle can cause hyperprolactinemia, orthostatic hypotension, leucopenia, seizures, and the potential for suicide. As with most atypical antipsychotics, metabolic changes such as weight gain and hyperglycemia are also possible”

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The Nerve of Those Guys

9/24/2022

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​Greetings, one and all. A bit of news. If you glance down at the space where I usually post a video, you will see that it has been removed with a dire warning. I believe this message is brought to you by the fine folks at Warner Brothers. You know. The fine studio that turned Jared Leto into the joker and JRR Tolkien's beloved classic Lord of the Rings into a Las Vegas slot machine.
 
I have no proof mind you, only suspicion. But this is the age of conspiracies, and I am jumping on the bandwagon.
 
So, in honor of the fine folks at Warner’s I have decided to post a popular song from their label to see how it lasts. I hope you enjoy it. And, if anyone asks, tell them, I sent you.
 
Then again, I could be wrong. It could be the Eagles. Maybe we will see next week.
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Take it Easy

9/17/2022

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Sitting around and waiting for something to happen can kill a writer. Ask me, I ought to know. I do it all the time. Every opportunity, every option, every invite to meet with a producer (along with the drive on studio pass), I feel that my career is kicking into high gear. I’ve been subscribing to this practice for years. And you know what? It is not the way the game is played. It’s all about the long game. It is about working on more than one opportunity at a time. It is about now worry about the result but the journey it will take to get there.
 
Have you ever met a one and done? These are remarkable creative self-professed geniuses that as soon as the idea is printed out on paper, it is done. Songs, plays, screenplays, short stories, it doesn’t matter. If it has been saved to a hard drive, it is golden. Sometimes these people get lucky, and those in a position of power recognize the potential in the idea. But every piece of art requires hard work. Rewrites, new beginnings and sometimes throwing it all out and starting over.
 
Nothing comes easy. Blood, sweat and tears are required and, remember, you are in it for the long haul. So, for your own sake…take it easy!
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Shit and Shinola

9/10/2022

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​Not everything you write will be perfect. Not every rewrite will turn shit to Shinola. The fact is everyone is going to write something that doesn’t quite make it. Granted, some people will love it. But, down in your heart, you will know that it’s not perfect. Some will be near misses; others will involve the broadsides of barns and horseshoes and hand grenades. No matter. You will keep writing because you know this. Even the great Taika Waititi fails.
 
And with that out of the way, let’s have a quick review of the latest Thor. Let’s get some perspective. If I had to give a grade to his previous Marvel film, Thor: Ragnarock (2017), it would be an A++. It was 130 minutes but felt much shorter, the humor flowed naturally and was never forced, and it was awesome. A perfect blend of all the right elements. Cut to 5 years later and Thor: Love and Thunder. 117 minutes (so it is shorter). Great cast with terrific performances by Christian Bale and Natalie Portman, a large city of people working on special effects, and with a result of it being not as good. Just doesn’t compare. It is almost a case of trying too hard. And there is no better example of this than the Zeus sequence. Overlong, overblown, forced. 
 
Is there a lesson here besides waiting for these films to show up on Disney Plus? Yes. Every artist will produce material that is not always equal to their best. Often, there will be great scenes that somehow do not add up to a whole. Sometimes, it has to do with us, sometimes our environment, and sometimes it is just Disney/Marvel and as Robert Blake fondly referred to them as the “suits.” It is never from lack of trying but is merely a law of the universe. 
 
Just keep on writing. Even the best pitcher hits an occasional batter. Even the great Taika Waititi misses the plate. No worries. You will have several more attempts to get it over the plate. Keep pitching.
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Bitchin' About Pitchin"

9/3/2022

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Bitchin’ About Pitchin’
 
Confession: There is no one worse at pitching their own story than me. On the other hand, if you are one of the nonexistent few and prefer a long rambling diatribe that confuses rather than illuminates, I am your guy.
 
Luckily, I have a new manager who was able to explain it to me in terms that I could understand. Most of you know that I was a stand-up comedian. It seem a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, but I was. Rachel explained to me thusly, pitching is like crowd work. You know, the annoying comedian who immediately after taking the stage, looks into an innocent face in the very front row and asks, what do you do for a living? 
 
Audience Member: I’m in sales.
 
Comedian: It’s hard to believe out of 10 billion sperm you were the fastest.
 
That’s crowd work. Bad crowd work. But crowd work.
 
Thank goodness, pitching it is not about finding out what a producer does for a living. You know that…hopefully. Successful pitching is about connecting. Finding a common thread between you and your audience and using it. This requires a couple of things going in.
 
Make it short and leave your audience wanting more. If they have questions, so much the better. Rachel prefers three to five.
 
A bit of research.  Know your audience. Check out IMDB Pro and any other useful tool that will tell you who you are talking to.
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Listen!
 
Most pitches are over Zoom now so invest in a Ring light. And if you wear glasses, watch for ring reflection.
 
And most importantly, slow down. Take a few deep breaths and appreciate that you have made it further than most. You are pitching YOUR ideas to someone who can do something about it.
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    Author

     ​In 1981, J.P. Linde co-wrote and appeared in a one-man comedy show titled “Casually Insane.”  Shortly after, he joined the ranks of stand-up comedy and performed in clubs and colleges throughout the United States and Canada.  In 1989, he made his national television debut on “Showtime’s Comedy Club Network.”  He wrote the libretto for the musical comedy “Wild Space A Go Go” and co-wrote and co-produced the feature motion picture, “Axe to Grind.”  “Son of Ravage” is his second novel.

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