J.P. Linde
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J.P. Linde

Writer
J.P. on "STOP ME IF I'VE HEARD THIS" 04/13/20
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1995: AROUND TOWN - KOIN TV (Portland Oregon)
In my brief 3 months as Entertainment Reporter, I won 16 Emmys and three Pulitzer Prizes.
You can now gift the entire J.P. Linde collection of novels and films. “SON OF RAVAGE,” “THE HOLOGRAPHIC DETECTIVE AGENCY” and, of course, the campy horror film classic “AXE TO GRIND.” All three make excellent gifts. And while you’re at it, add a couple of J.P. Linde COMEDY CLUB NETWORK appearances to your digital library. You can find all of my appearances on Amazon Prime at a very affordable price. Give the gift that will keep on giving. Get your J.P. Linde Media Bundle today!

“The most frequent side effects associated with the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are tachycardia, blurred vision, abdominal pain, and diarrhea. Decreases in appetite and rash/pruitus are also common. Those patients purchasing the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are at risk for developing extrapyramidal symptoms, including dystonia, parkinsonism, and restlessness, in addition to neuroleptic malignant syndrome and tardive dyskinesia. In some cases, The J.P. Linde Media Bundle can cause hyperprolactinemia, orthostatic hypotension, leucopenia, seizures, and the potential for suicide. As with most atypical antipsychotics, metabolic changes such as weight gain and hyperglycemia are also possible”

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A Tale of Two Agents

1/5/2020

1 Comment

 
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"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

This week's blog comment comes from the worst department:

​“It looks like you've misspelled the word "glamourous" on your website. I thought you would like to know :). Silly mistakes can ruin your site's credibility. I've used a tool called SpellDoc.com in the past to keep mistakes off of my website. -Kerri”
 

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(An authentic artist's rendering of Kerri

I want to thank Kerri for her candid, illuminating and thought-provoking comments. For the record, I do want to point out that the word glamorous has not been used in any one of my blogs (either recent or past). Therefore, I can only come to the conclusion that you, Kerri, are a sinister Russian bot, attempting to overthrow our precious American Republic by insidiously undermining all that we hold dear…up to and including our right to free and unhindered elections and for misspelled words whether real or imagined. So there, go back to Russia, Comrade Kerri or whatever your Russian troll bot name is!

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​Okay, so where we go. Confession time. I have two agents. Well, to be more precise, I have two agencies representing my work. To add to this quandary, I am pretty sure that neither agency knows about the other. To be clear, these two great literary houses are competitors, have been around for decades. And here is the humiliating part, if they did know, I doubt that they would really care. You see, they are not representing me the writer. They are representing some of the work of me. Scripts and concepts as opposed to a real person. Would I like a warm handoff to an agent, introducing myself as well as my work? You betcha! Will it happen in the near future? Most likely not. Not until either screenplay or concept/show sells. Such is my celebrated life on the fringes of show business.
 
Backstory 101.  Two years back I entered into an arrangement with a director; someone I admire and who had some recognition as a Hollywood auteur. He and I entered into an agreement to turn one of my screenplays into a feature. If produced, it could end up anywhere, whether it be cable, streaming service, etc. It really is no surprise that this person cares a great deal more about my story than they do about my career. But, again, this is to be expected. I have asked politely for said handoff/introduction and it has never happened. I will not push it for it is not my way. Besides, if said story ever his produced, I will have leverage and will most likely get that sought-after referral. Let’s call this agency ICM Partners (International Creative Management). Oh hell, who am I kidding? Let’s call it who it really is. 
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Backstory 201. Several months back, I worked with a producing team on several opportunities. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll more than likely know who I’m talking about. If you don’t, I’ll just keep the anonymity going for a bit longer. They are actually the flip side of the story above. They have a bit of heat, due to a popular project and were nice enough to bring me aboard to provide some literary talent to other projects. They are currently being represented by house number two, CAA (Creative Artists Agency). While not all of the projects submitted by the producer have my name attached, one does.
 
There you have it. Two great houses and one so-so writer. Actually, as stated, I doubt they even give a damn. But I did find it ironic and worth noting. The point of the rambling story is this. Whatever gets you there, my friends. There has never been any real normal in my writing career. Hopefully, your career path will be far less dramatic, and you’ll encounter far smoother sailing. I guess I prefer the more time-consuming stupefying approach to a writing career. After all, as they keep telling us in every volume of our writing books, it’s not the journey but the destination. Not such a bad cliché when you are talking about my career.
 
Until next time!  
1 Comment
Dan DePrez
1/5/2020 10:50:00 am

Reminds me of 2012. HSBC informed me that my account with them had been bundled with other bad eggs and sold to Capital One. Then Capital One informed me that they had bundled my account with them with other bad eggs and sold them...to HSBC.

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     ​In 1981, J.P. Linde co-wrote and appeared in a one-man comedy show titled “Casually Insane.”  Shortly after, he joined the ranks of stand-up comedy and performed in clubs and colleges throughout the United States and Canada.  In 1989, he made his national television debut on “Showtime’s Comedy Club Network.”  He wrote the libretto for the musical comedy “Wild Space A Go Go” and co-wrote and co-produced the feature motion picture, “Axe to Grind.”  “Son of Ravage” is his second novel.

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