Film Budgeting for Morons

(Pictured: partial budget from unmade Touristers 2008)
 
Have you ever written up an Independent Film Budget? Do you even want to? Trust me, I have no idea what I am doing, and I tried it. It is more frustrating than golf and only three times more exerting than attempting an IRS 10-40 long form (with deductions and additional income of course).
 
For the record, I must admit to having no idea what anything costs to buy, rent, or barter. Every figure was either taken from the internet or my imagination, so we just must assume that they are wrong. To make it even more challenging, I have no idea of how to set up my Excel sheet. But did that stop me? Hell no. I charged in any way.
 
So just for shits and giggles, let’s assume that this is a low budget horror comedy. Let’s also assume that only two of the actors have any sort of Hollywood career and that the rest are going to be kidnapped from local community theaters. Let also assume the same about the crew. DP a minor league pro, the rest lured to the job with the promise of fame, the hardship of 12-hour days and the faint wisp of enough cash to perhaps purchase a 32-inch flat-screen television from Walmart. Insurance and such have not been figured out as yet because, hey, I don’t know what the hell I am doing.
 
Still, I press on. My above the line costs (without writer/director and producer fees) are coming in around $75,000.00. The rest I have at roughly $80,000.00.  This is all based on 10-to-12-hour days with a two-week shooting schedule. Maybe I should have budgeted for more cocaine.
 
So, let’s bring this slow moving, overloaded, broken-down train to the station. What does this all mean. Well, in 2022 can a low budget film still come in at under $250,000.00. Where will this money come from? I certainly don’t have it. Do you? 
 
I am not sure if this little story will be ongoing or not. We shall have to see. In the meantime, take some time out for yourself and carve out an independent film budget. I swear, it will make you feel like a real Robert Evans.
 
“The only way you can make a deal is if you’re ready to blow it.” – Robert Evans