J.P. Linde
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J.P. Linde

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J.P. on "STOP ME IF I'VE HEARD THIS" 04/13/20
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1995: AROUND TOWN - KOIN TV (Portland Oregon)
In my brief 3 months as Entertainment Reporter, I won 16 Emmys and three Pulitzer Prizes.
You can now gift the entire J.P. Linde collection of novels and films. “SON OF RAVAGE,” “THE HOLOGRAPHIC DETECTIVE AGENCY” and, of course, the campy horror film classic “AXE TO GRIND.” All three make excellent gifts. And while you’re at it, add a couple of J.P. Linde COMEDY CLUB NETWORK appearances to your digital library. You can find all of my appearances on Amazon Prime at a very affordable price. Give the gift that will keep on giving. Get your J.P. Linde Media Bundle today!

“The most frequent side effects associated with the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are tachycardia, blurred vision, abdominal pain, and diarrhea. Decreases in appetite and rash/pruitus are also common. Those patients purchasing the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are at risk for developing extrapyramidal symptoms, including dystonia, parkinsonism, and restlessness, in addition to neuroleptic malignant syndrome and tardive dyskinesia. In some cases, The J.P. Linde Media Bundle can cause hyperprolactinemia, orthostatic hypotension, leucopenia, seizures, and the potential for suicide. As with most atypical antipsychotics, metabolic changes such as weight gain and hyperglycemia are also possible”

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Bring me the Sharpening Stone

10/30/2021

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​These words were spoken by my dentist during a laser procedure on, yes, you guessed, an ongoing assault on my mouth.  Amidst all the torturous deep cleaning, scraping, burning, and choking, I could not help but be reminded of the words of Auric Goldfinger when he had 007 splayed out on the table.
     “Do you expect me to talk?”
     “No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.”
     Well, I didn’t die, so that’s one positive out of the whole ordeal. It did, however, cause me to ruminate over my blog of several weeks back regarding the untimely death of fictional characters in general and one beloved fictional character in particular. I also happen to be listening to ninety-second movie reviews on the podcast Scrappy-Doo Radio, and, quite frankly, I can’t believe how many fans are upset over the death of Scrappy-Doo.  For every ten positive reviews of Scrappy’s latest film, there is a listener who is so livid; they can barely control the timber or pitch of their voice.
     As stated in my earlier blog post, many fictional characters suffered deaths at the hands of their creators. I mentioned Sherlock Holmes, Spock, and of course, the latest tragedy of beloved icon Scrappy-Doo. The words of Ted Turner come immediately to mind. “Last time I checked, I owned them.”
     While I understand the disappointment and even sadness, I don’t quite get all the vitriol. Everybody dies, including you. Interpretations of fictional characters change over the ages. Compare Laurence Olivier's performance Shakespeare’s Shylock to the more modern and enlightened view of the character. Or, let me present it to you this way. Or, in his own words uttered on screen, Scrappy-Doo is a character that has a very short life expectancy, so any second-guessing on any of your parts will be short-lived.
     So, let’s give it a rest. Let’s watch the film and enjoy it for what it is. And remember the optimistic promise that was made at the very end of the credits.
                                                          “Scrappy Doo will return”
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     ​In 1981, J.P. Linde co-wrote and appeared in a one-man comedy show titled “Casually Insane.”  Shortly after, he joined the ranks of stand-up comedy and performed in clubs and colleges throughout the United States and Canada.  In 1989, he made his national television debut on “Showtime’s Comedy Club Network.”  He wrote the libretto for the musical comedy “Wild Space A Go Go” and co-wrote and co-produced the feature motion picture, “Axe to Grind.”  “Son of Ravage” is his second novel.

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