J.P. Linde
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J.P. Linde

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J.P. on "STOP ME IF I'VE HEARD THIS" 04/13/20
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1995: AROUND TOWN - KOIN TV (Portland Oregon)
In my brief 3 months as Entertainment Reporter, I won 16 Emmys and three Pulitzer Prizes.
You can now gift the entire J.P. Linde collection of novels and films. “SON OF RAVAGE,” “THE HOLOGRAPHIC DETECTIVE AGENCY” and, of course, the campy horror film classic “AXE TO GRIND.” All three make excellent gifts. And while you’re at it, add a couple of J.P. Linde COMEDY CLUB NETWORK appearances to your digital library. You can find all of my appearances on Amazon Prime at a very affordable price. Give the gift that will keep on giving. Get your J.P. Linde Media Bundle today!

“The most frequent side effects associated with the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are tachycardia, blurred vision, abdominal pain, and diarrhea. Decreases in appetite and rash/pruitus are also common. Those patients purchasing the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are at risk for developing extrapyramidal symptoms, including dystonia, parkinsonism, and restlessness, in addition to neuroleptic malignant syndrome and tardive dyskinesia. In some cases, The J.P. Linde Media Bundle can cause hyperprolactinemia, orthostatic hypotension, leucopenia, seizures, and the potential for suicide. As with most atypical antipsychotics, metabolic changes such as weight gain and hyperglycemia are also possible”

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CA Summer

7/2/2022

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​Some call it summer. Most here in California refer to it as Hell. That time of year when fires dot our landscape with the frequency of Ava Gardner relationships. A particular time of year when our go bags are packed, our gas tanks are full, and we have a pre-arranged Target parking lot where we plan to spend the night. Now, some of our citizens can afford to have their own fire department. Not so in my peaceful little berg. Here, in the town of Windsor, we rely on self-reliance and the importance of backing your car into the driveway. Our vacation season is now January and February. And we all share a common application on our smartphones. The app is called Watch Duty, and with it, we can follow the complete life of a fire, from a homeless person setting it to air tankers dropping retardant all over our neighborhood. I am not sure how we ever truly lived without it. Oh, yeah, I remember, the earth was cooler than, and we had water. 
 
As of today, I am following the adventures of a little devil called the Roblar Fire. It started sometime later in the afternoon and, within one half hour as consumed 20 acres with 0 percent containment. As a side hustle, we watch the wind just in case this little flaming urchin decides to change direction and head to town. This is important as with a good breeze, it could only take a few hours. 
 
Anyway, as you get in gas-guzzling, ozone-depleting vehicles, or jet to your favorite destination, remember us in California. We are thinking of you, and not so much about the cost of fuel. That seven dollars per gallon higher price may have just saved us for another year. 
 
Oh yeah. Fuck the President of Brazil.
 
Until next time…if there is a next time.
 
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     ​In 1981, J.P. Linde co-wrote and appeared in a one-man comedy show titled “Casually Insane.”  Shortly after, he joined the ranks of stand-up comedy and performed in clubs and colleges throughout the United States and Canada.  In 1989, he made his national television debut on “Showtime’s Comedy Club Network.”  He wrote the libretto for the musical comedy “Wild Space A Go Go” and co-wrote and co-produced the feature motion picture, “Axe to Grind.”  “Son of Ravage” is his second novel.

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