Celebrity Traegering

​For the uninitiated, the term Traegering sounds like some German sport involving beer, ice skates and an oversized catcher’s mitt. In point of fact, only one of these items qualifies as a required accessory. Hint. It’s the first. Celebrity Traegering kicks the concept up a notch (so very sorry for the Guy Fieri reference), and unlike Battle of the Network Stars, does not involve in any way, shape or form washed up television celebrities. 
 
Traegering is actually a term for a slow cooking and smoking process with a cooking device that resembles an oversized black barrel atop a matching sawhorse. When I refer to Celebrity Traegering, I am referring to me with my stellar IMDB STARmeter rating of 1,257.318 (up 6,718 from just last month). I know about this particular brand of smoker because I fell victim to its devilish cult a year ago and have since Traegered everything from a full Thanksgiving Day Turkey, a New Year’s Prime Rib to a St. Paddy’s Day Corn Beef. But this is black canister of flavor is not just for carnivores. We’ve done fish, veggies and even a pizza or two. And because of my vast experience, I felt it my duty to pass a long a few helpful hints and even a recipe to heighten your Traeger experience that will make you the envy of your neighborhood Ace Hardware Store, (which you will be forced to visit every couple of days to pick up more Traeger Signature Pellets).
 
For the record, Traeger smoking pellets come in the following flavors:
Hickory
Apple
Cherry
Pecan
Maple
Alder
And two new flavors:
Dr. Pepper (which for copyright reasons is called Mister Beevis)
And something called Orange Creamsicle Kush.
 
There also happens to be something called Signature blend, which my brother-in-law insists is just a combination of all the flavors swept up off the floor after a long day at the Traeger factory.
 
So, based on my recommendation, you have purchased a Traeger and are now ready to cook to your heart’s content (or disease, whichever comes first). There are literally billions of Traeger recipes online and for legal reasons, I suggest you stick to those. However, I have taken the liberty of sharing one of my favorite recipes that has been passed onto me by a fellow enthusiast.
Enjoy!
 
Ben’s Scotch and Soda with Smoked Ice Cubes 
 
What you will need:
Non-flammable container
Water
 
Set smoker at 225. Place tap or filtered water (completely at your discretion) in a container. Preheat smoker. Place container fat side up on the Traeger grill. (Hint: Somehow you always smoke everything, including water, fat side up). Smoke water. Take water off the grill before you lose all of it to evaporation. Place remaining H20 in ice cube holder. Freeze. Add Scotch.
 
There you have it. Simple, right? Until next time, happy Traegering!

​Next week: Air Fryers for Dummies