J.P. Linde
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J.P. Linde

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J.P. on "STOP ME IF I'VE HEARD THIS" 04/13/20
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1995: AROUND TOWN - KOIN TV (Portland Oregon)
In my brief 3 months as Entertainment Reporter, I won 16 Emmys and three Pulitzer Prizes.
You can now gift the entire J.P. Linde collection of novels and films. “SON OF RAVAGE,” “THE HOLOGRAPHIC DETECTIVE AGENCY” and, of course, the campy horror film classic “AXE TO GRIND.” All three make excellent gifts. And while you’re at it, add a couple of J.P. Linde COMEDY CLUB NETWORK appearances to your digital library. You can find all of my appearances on Amazon Prime at a very affordable price. Give the gift that will keep on giving. Get your J.P. Linde Media Bundle today!

“The most frequent side effects associated with the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are tachycardia, blurred vision, abdominal pain, and diarrhea. Decreases in appetite and rash/pruitus are also common. Those patients purchasing the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are at risk for developing extrapyramidal symptoms, including dystonia, parkinsonism, and restlessness, in addition to neuroleptic malignant syndrome and tardive dyskinesia. In some cases, The J.P. Linde Media Bundle can cause hyperprolactinemia, orthostatic hypotension, leucopenia, seizures, and the potential for suicide. As with most atypical antipsychotics, metabolic changes such as weight gain and hyperglycemia are also possible”

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Helm's a Popping

8/10/2019

2 Comments

 
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A big thank you to all the new visitors to jplinde.com. It’s a amazing what a little Lee Marvin will do for viewership.  Stay tuned. Our special guest is just around the corner. I’ll be announcing the identity very soon so stay right where you are and don’t do anything. I have also enjoyed all the comments regarding my Showtime appearances of 1988. So far, the winner and champion appears to be “You look just like David Coulier (Joey) from “Full House.” Ah, the eighties, right? The runner up was just as good, “You don’t sound like that.” No, that is actually the voice from David Coulier.  I fooled all of you. Keep those e-cards and emails coming.
 
In honor of Quentin Tarantino’s “Once Upon A Time in Hollywood” a quick look back at what some consider the best, worst spy film series of all time! High praise indeed. So, hang onto your slicked back, black oily hair. Here are the top five Dean Martin Matt Helms movies.  BTW, they are the only Matt Helm movies and, as for top five...  there are only four.
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“The Silencers.” 1966. Directed by Phil Karlson. A top film of 1966 with 50 year old Dino clearing more money than Sean Connery did for “Thunderball.”
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“Talk about a booby trap. That's a crazy holster.”

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​“Murderers Row.” 1966. Henry Levin. Made the same year as Silencers, this follow-up co-stars Karl Malden as the super villain (ho hum), Ann Margaret as the scientist’s swinging daughter and Dino, Desi and Billy as themselves. (Guess which scene I borrowed for "Son of  Ravage").
 
“What a way to finish. For a guy that drank booze all his life to end up like a milkshake.”
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​The Ambushers.” 1967. Henry Levin. The last appearance of James Gregory as McDonald. Thank goodness he moved onto television and “Barney Miller.” This movie has everything, including a flying saucer and a magnetic gun that is perfect for unzipping.  Filmed in location in Mexico.
 
“I believe the expression is, eh, 'Silence, Yankee dog', eh?”
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The Wrecking Crew.” Notable for being the last film of Sharon Tate and fight scenes choreographed by Bruce Lee. One final Matt Helm film, “The Ravagers” was announced at the end credits. However, Dino declined in favor of 18 holes of golf. Coincidentally, the making of one of these films takes roughly the same amount of time.
 
“I know what you're after, and... I like the way you're going about it.”

"Skoal!
Of course, it's skoal. There's ice in it."

Cheers!

2 Comments
Derrick link
8/10/2019 10:07:16 am

My Favorite Matt Helm Movies: THE AMBUSHERS because of Janice Rule and the downright goofy MacGuffin of a flying saucer that can only be flown/piloted by women that actually is a pretty cool/progressive idea for that period of American film and THE WRECKING CREW for Sharon Tate.

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JP
8/10/2019 01:04:16 pm

Great comments. I have a soft spot for THE AMBUSHERS as well. I think it’s the firing squad scene.

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     ​In 1981, J.P. Linde co-wrote and appeared in a one-man comedy show titled “Casually Insane.”  Shortly after, he joined the ranks of stand-up comedy and performed in clubs and colleges throughout the United States and Canada.  In 1989, he made his national television debut on “Showtime’s Comedy Club Network.”  He wrote the libretto for the musical comedy “Wild Space A Go Go” and co-wrote and co-produced the feature motion picture, “Axe to Grind.”  “Son of Ravage” is his second novel.

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