J.P. Linde
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J.P. Linde
Writer
Thanks for stopping by. This site is a quick look at who I am, what I write, and the worlds I build. Browse around, check out the projects, and make yourself at home — the stories are just getting started.
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​J.P. Linde’s love of storytelling began unexpectedly in the sixth grade, when he convinced his male classmates that Elizabeth Montgomery — yes, the star of Bewitched — was his girlfriend. From that moment on, he’s been spinning stories people actually believe.
He’s performed in summer-stock productions of Our Town, Hot L Baltimore, and The Misanthrope — and, to everyone’s relief, managed to avoid appearing nude in Hair. One of the founding members of Portland, Oregon’s comedy scene, J.P. created the sketch and improv group No Prisoners and later took the stage with his one-person show, Casually Insane. He went on to perform stand-up professionally, making his national television debut on Showtime’s Comedy Club Network.
His original musical, Wild Space A Go Go, premiered in Portland at The Embers in 2011. Since then, he’s written five novels, including his latest, The Last Argonaut, coming soon from Reese Unlimited. On the screen side, he co-wrote the horror cult classic Axe to Grind and has collaborated with some of the top producers in film and television.

Coming just in time for Halloween:

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Where laughter meets terror, one story at a time.  Tales From the Chair!  The new comedy/horror anthology by J.P. Linde.  
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“Wry, weird, and uncomfortably human. Linde’s chair creaks under the weight of our collective nightmares.”
And in November
From Reese Unlimited
The Last Argonaut
by
J,P. Linde

​​When Nazi occultists awaken the vengeful spirit of Medea in their hunt for the Golden Fleece, the battle for world domination leaps from ancient tombs to wartime America. Standing in their way is The Peregrine—Atlanta’s masked avenger—and his daring wife, Evelyn. Together they’ll face dark magic, mystic assassins, and a prophecy written in blood. From the mean  streets of Atlanta to deep below Mount Olympus, The Last Argonaut hurtles through myth and history toward an explosive showdown between gods, monsters, and men—and the one hero destined to stand against them all.
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From J.P. Linde Media and El Dorado Press:

A desperate Wyatt Earp pursues Jack London, a boy, and a
grizzled mountain man in a race for a legendary gold mine


Fool's Gold 

The new novel from J.P. Linde
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"Not only is J.P. Linde's FOOL's GOLD a barn burner of a snow western adventure tale, it's also a love story. Linde clearly loves his genre, loves creating within it and loves to keep his readers on the edge of their seat."    Richard Melo (Author of Happy Talk and Jokerman 8).
Also by J.P. and available on 
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https://a.co/d/gsulDTu
"J.P. Linde has successfully delivered a novel that is both a loving homage to the pulp fiction genre and a hilarious satire of it. "
web page hit counters codes Free
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Visionary Talent Agency
Betsy Magee (Agent)
​646-637-6044
[email protected]
Pitch materials are available upon request. Please contact me for access credentials.
anewtypeofhero.blogspot.com

How to Entertain Yourself in a Pandemic.

3/21/2020

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​As a public service, I have created a list of extra fun activities to keep you and your family occupied during this pandemic.
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#1 Celebrity Corona Virus Bingo - Create cards with pictures of your favorite celebrities five down and five across. Have someone follow Facebook or Twitter, announcing hourly celebrities that have come down with the virus. When you get five in a row in any direction, (Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson, Idris Elba, Olga Kurylenko and the dude from Game of Thrones), yell out at the top of your lungs, “Celebrity Corona Virus Bingo!” 
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#2 An Ol’ Fashioned Family Cold and Flu Medicine Spody-Ody. Fill up any quart sized container with a liquid cold and flu medicines along with a generous portion of ice. Turn on Fox news and take a chug every time a news host or hostess informs you that this will all be over by the end of March.

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#3 Porn. This ‘ol standby has been keeping people inside their houses and locked in their rooms for years. If Pee-Wee Herman and Fred Willard had a room, a computer and access to the internet, they would not have the reputations they share today (Joke courtesy of Albert Brooks).
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#4. Give your cat a shower. This old standby is always good for a few laughs and stiches. No kitty burrito here. This is where we separate the men from the pussies. If you don’t have a cat, any possum, raccoon or rat will do in pinch. 
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#3. Troll Vanessa Hudgens "Til July sounds like a bunch of bulls**t. I'm sorry. But like, it's a virus. I get it. Like, I respect it, but at the same time, like, even if everybody gets it... like, yea, people are going to die, which is terrible, but like inevitable." We all know what she meant, right? Wrong! She meant what she said. And you can just as easily mean what you say when you address her on her official Twitter account @VanessaHudgens

#2. Attempt to get a refund from American Airlines. This challenge is not for the squeamish. It will take, will, determination and the heart of a champion. Remember, no vouchers allowed. You’re playing for cold, hard cash. If you like losing in Vegas, you’ll love this game. As they say in Vegas, “Good luck.”
 
#1. Stream Anything and Everything. From Friends to all seasons of Columbo you can fuck up everyone working from home in five-mile radius. And the best part, they will never know it is you. I mean, God forbid you should ever have to pick up a book. That’s right, you can relive the historic break up of Ross and Rachel and screw your neighbor at the same time. What better way to say to the world, fuck off I am catching up on Outlander. Or you can just continue to watch the Dow slide. It’s like watching tourists go over the final plunge on Splash Mountain at Disneyland. And the excited screams of the panicked patrons is actually the sound of your suddenly devalued 401 K and retirement.  It’s entirely up to you.
 
Well, that’s my post from the new America. Keep your friends close and your toilet paper closer. Until next week. Oh, and be sure and wave to the soldiers as they rumble past your house in the dead of the night. Remember, Guardsmen need love too.

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