J.P. Linde
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J.P. Linde

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J.P. on "STOP ME IF I'VE HEARD THIS" 04/13/20
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1995: AROUND TOWN - KOIN TV (Portland Oregon)
In my brief 3 months as Entertainment Reporter, I won 16 Emmys and three Pulitzer Prizes.
You can now gift the entire J.P. Linde collection of novels and films. “SON OF RAVAGE,” “THE HOLOGRAPHIC DETECTIVE AGENCY” and, of course, the campy horror film classic “AXE TO GRIND.” All three make excellent gifts. And while you’re at it, add a couple of J.P. Linde COMEDY CLUB NETWORK appearances to your digital library. You can find all of my appearances on Amazon Prime at a very affordable price. Give the gift that will keep on giving. Get your J.P. Linde Media Bundle today!

“The most frequent side effects associated with the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are tachycardia, blurred vision, abdominal pain, and diarrhea. Decreases in appetite and rash/pruitus are also common. Those patients purchasing the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are at risk for developing extrapyramidal symptoms, including dystonia, parkinsonism, and restlessness, in addition to neuroleptic malignant syndrome and tardive dyskinesia. In some cases, The J.P. Linde Media Bundle can cause hyperprolactinemia, orthostatic hypotension, leucopenia, seizures, and the potential for suicide. As with most atypical antipsychotics, metabolic changes such as weight gain and hyperglycemia are also possible”

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I Used the Copy Machine at Nakatomi Tower

9/19/2020

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​It was a fateful Christmas Evening in 1988, I had stopped by offices of John Davis Productions located on the 22nd and 23rd floor of the state-of-the-art office tower located in middle of the Century City. The sparsely populated offices smelled of construction, fresh paint and yes, dare I say it, terrorism. I was to meet Bettina Viviano and Michael J. Nathanson ((there’s another producer named Michael Nathanson who likes hookers, so it is very important not to forget the initial), in the conference room of the 23rd floor to discuss my option on the screenplay Yardboy. Never did I realize that what had started out as 1st payment and harmless story meeting would turn into an act of heist masquerading as an act of global terrorism.
 
Okay, maybe I have my dates and events a little mixed up. But it was definitely the same building located in Century City. I’m sure of that much. And maybe, by the time I was there, they had renamed it the giant of glass and steel Fox Tower, but the fundamental elements of the story were none the less the same. I needed to use the Xerox machine and, by God, come hell or highwater, shoes or no shoes, weapon or no weapon, I was going to make some copies.
 
Hoping they had the next big project for young Macauley Culkin, the optioning producers met me at promptly 1pm, and before settling down to lunch, we signed all contracts giving them exclusive rights to pedal Yardboy for one year.  
 
Lunch was casual, a choice of catered sandwiches from a nearby deli. We got down to the notes of the story and wrapped up promptly in two hours. Before leaving, I nonchalantly asked if I could use the copy machine for the copy of my contracts and a charming assistance escorted me to the midsized room.
 
For obvious reasons, copy machines at production companies have strict procedures. Back then, a key was required as well as signing off so that scripts, or other important documents, didn’t fall into the wrong hands. Illegal use of a copier is serious business. I know a guy who spent the night in jail for illegally using the copy machines at Warner Brothers. Maybe someday, I will tell you about him.
 
I made my copies without incident, slid them into my briefcase and drove my rental car back to Pasadena where I was staying with friends.
 
I know. I know. You were hoping for something a bit more dramatic. Something where I arrive to find the copier had been tampered with and the following scenario ensues: 
 
Nope. Sorry to disappoint. However, the parking fee to get out of the tower was a bit steep and the winter traffic was heavy on the drive back to Pasadena. But other than that...
 
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     ​In 1981, J.P. Linde co-wrote and appeared in a one-man comedy show titled “Casually Insane.”  Shortly after, he joined the ranks of stand-up comedy and performed in clubs and colleges throughout the United States and Canada.  In 1989, he made his national television debut on “Showtime’s Comedy Club Network.”  He wrote the libretto for the musical comedy “Wild Space A Go Go” and co-wrote and co-produced the feature motion picture, “Axe to Grind.”  “Son of Ravage” is his second novel.

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