Opposing Poles (The Play)

​It was the first play I had ever written (co-written to be exact) that was ever produced. It was performed on the studio stage at Mt Hood Community College in the Winter of 1974 and ran for a total of 3 performances. It was roughly 65 minutes long (including intermission) and had a featured cast of the hammiest actors the two-year institution ever had the privilege of educating. To call it a play was a bit of an exaggeration. It was more like a series of sketches loosely tied together by a flimsy plot of a young man’s journey into the discovery of his own masculinity. Okay, okay. It was just a series of sketches.
 
Some of these sketches were as follows:
 
And overture with ab ape in a tuxedo conducting an imaginary orchestra. (Director’s commentary: I don’t care what anyone says, Apes are college comedy gold. Apes in tuxedos – money.)
 
The Birthday Party. The hero returns to his apartment accompanied by his lovely date. As he undresses in anticipation of romantic next steps, his hiding friends jump out and surprise him with a party. (Director’s commentary: Okay, not exactly Doc Simon, Woody Allen or even George S. Kaufman, but did successfully get us into the next series of sketches.) 
 
Hal 9000 and Dave. The famous computer from 2001: A Space Odyssey teaches an astronaut the fine art of joke telling. (The featured performer was a black box with a red glass eye and was featured successfully in several sketches.)
 
Debate for Planet of the Apes. Charlton Heston and a guerrilla debate over the fate of mankind. (Just more monkey business.)
 
The Hal 9000 Driving School. A very nervous driver is taught by the Kubrick’s famous computer.
 
Mickey the Procurer’s (The school forbid the use of the word pimp) A late-night commercial by a white guy who had watched entirely too much 70’s detective films and television.
 
Kathryn Coolman Crusade
 
Billy Hack: An ax wielding vet who promotes peace with every swing. (Nothing better than Community College social commentary.)
 
A music video set to Bad, Bad Leroy Brown that featured the entire cast and was filmed in a high school pinball parlor across the street from Gresham High School.
 
As amazing as this was that this “work of literary art” ever saw the light of day, it is notable as the very first faltering steps of my writing career.
 
Believe it or not Department:
 
We were invited to perform this in the downtown Portland theatre venue, Wilson Center of Performing Arts. Luckily for the venue, we declined.