J.P. Linde
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J.P. Linde

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J.P. on "STOP ME IF I'VE HEARD THIS" 04/13/20
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1995: AROUND TOWN - KOIN TV (Portland Oregon)
In my brief 3 months as Entertainment Reporter, I won 16 Emmys and three Pulitzer Prizes.
You can now gift the entire J.P. Linde collection of novels and films. “SON OF RAVAGE,” “THE HOLOGRAPHIC DETECTIVE AGENCY” and, of course, the campy horror film classic “AXE TO GRIND.” All three make excellent gifts. And while you’re at it, add a couple of J.P. Linde COMEDY CLUB NETWORK appearances to your digital library. You can find all of my appearances on Amazon Prime at a very affordable price. Give the gift that will keep on giving. Get your J.P. Linde Media Bundle today!

“The most frequent side effects associated with the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are tachycardia, blurred vision, abdominal pain, and diarrhea. Decreases in appetite and rash/pruitus are also common. Those patients purchasing the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are at risk for developing extrapyramidal symptoms, including dystonia, parkinsonism, and restlessness, in addition to neuroleptic malignant syndrome and tardive dyskinesia. In some cases, The J.P. Linde Media Bundle can cause hyperprolactinemia, orthostatic hypotension, leucopenia, seizures, and the potential for suicide. As with most atypical antipsychotics, metabolic changes such as weight gain and hyperglycemia are also possible”

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Spring Ahead to Armageddon.

3/7/2020

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NEWS FLASH: The coming Apocalypse has been rescheduled for April 21st, 2020. Please do not panic. While toilet paper, rubber gloves, face masks and Purel will be in short supply, there will still be plenty of Hostess pastry products available for people who wish to take a slower approach to the end of the world. Remember, wash your hands for at least 20 seconds, please do not touch your face, cough into your elbows and whenever possible keep a copy Son of Ravage by J.P. Linde (available at Amazon, all independent bookstores and at Walmart.com) 
​We’ll start off this week's odds and ends with books and a little gem that has been on the bestseller lists for a while. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern is nothing short of enchanting. This adult Harry Potter is that rare read that manages to achieve magical without having to try to hard. The characters are believable and whole, and the plot is mesmeringly entertaining. A book that make you forget the time and place that we find ourselves in, is rare indeed. I heartily recommend it. On the Hollywood front, a screenplay has been written and Geremy Jasper (Patti Cake$, ShortBus) will be directing for the Lionsgate production.
 
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​There is a a lot of good television out there right now and I’m not quite sure where to start. But what the hell, right? As Sir Edmund Hillary’s loyal Sherpa, Tenzing Norgay, was fond of saying: “A mother fucker has got to start somewhere.”
 
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​Narcos (Season 5/Mexico, Season 2) promises to be another wild ride. As Diego Lunas character becomes more isolated, smokes more cigarettes and drinks more, you just know that something really bad is just around the corner. I am only a few episodes in and already know that I am in for one hell of a ride. 




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Despite what the critics might have said, The Crown, season 2, is as memorable as the first. Stand-out performances are plentiful, particularly Oliva Coleman (Elizabeth), Helena Bonham Carter (Margaret), Tobias Menzies, (Phillip) and the perpetually uncomfortable, hands in pockets Josh O’ Connor as Bilbo Baggins. Sorry, of course I meant Frodo Baggins. Whoopsie, can’t help myself. He’s really Charles.   
 
Parasite. Finally saw it and now fully understand what all the buzz is about. This, my friends, is filmmaking at its finest. Fully fleshed characters and a fascinating plot with plenty of twists and turns that will constantly keep you guessing. Suburb pacing by director Bong Joon-Ho and a cast that seems very rooted in the emerging class struggle taking place in South Korea.   

Gripe of the week: The CGI dog from the trailer of Call of the Wild. Did they ever fix this or does this poor mutt suffer the same fate as Taylor Swift in Cats? I don’t know what looks worse, Harrison Ford or the computer-generated dog with the eerily creepy eyes. Were the boys in the special effects lab, so obsessed with making the dog character identifiable that they decided to give it human eyeballs? And why not use a real dog? Not sure what happened here, but I will not be seeing this cartoon version of one of my favorite classics. Comedy may be hard, but adapting Jack London is harder. 


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Pictured: Harrison Ford and CGI dog from Call of the Wild.

Finally, the Broadway adaption of John Carney’s Sing Street is set to open March 26. And here’s a clip for all of those who were hoping they would not mess this up.
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​And now your little hint for next week’s blog.
 
“I’m your huckleberry.”
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     ​In 1981, J.P. Linde co-wrote and appeared in a one-man comedy show titled “Casually Insane.”  Shortly after, he joined the ranks of stand-up comedy and performed in clubs and colleges throughout the United States and Canada.  In 1989, he made his national television debut on “Showtime’s Comedy Club Network.”  He wrote the libretto for the musical comedy “Wild Space A Go Go” and co-wrote and co-produced the feature motion picture, “Axe to Grind.”  “Son of Ravage” is his second novel.

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