The Fez. (A Cautionary Tale of Hollywood with Hats)

According to the documentary on John Milius, (aptly titled Milius), the controversial writer and director once went to a Hollywood meeting wearing a Sombrero and a bandoleer filled with bullets crisscrossing his barrel chest. Most likely it resulted in a six-figure deal with an option to direct.
 
In one of our many drinking and smoking encounters, Thomas “Doc” McComb and I were drunkenly pontificating on the lack of the Fez in men’s modern fashion. Oh sure, you see them on the occasional Shriner, incorporated with circuses, parades (in tiny clown cars), and late-night advertisements for children’s hospitals, but never in a modern restaurant setting or cocktail party. Lo and behold, that Christmas, Doc purchased for me a real Fez. Now mind you, this was not one of these fake jobs that you might purchase at Halloween Spirit Store, but an honest to goodness Fez, one that you might see walking down the cobblestone streets of Cairo or Istanbul. I was elated until Tom through down the gauntlet. He took a long drag of his cigarette, took a sip of his outstanding marijuana infused home brew and dared me to wear it to my next Hollywood meeting. The challenge stipulated that the Fez to be on my head from the moment I drove onto the studio lot until the second I drove off. No cheating and no explanations to anyone who asked or questioned my bizarre choice for a chapeau.
 
Tom McComb, challenge accepted!
 
I first met producer Jonathan A. Zimbert when director Peter Hyams expressed interest in one of, by this time thousands, of scripts. The relationship went off after the dissolution of their partnership and Jonathan and I managed to stay in touch. Jonathan was at Kennedy Marshall Productions at the time, a place filled with so many seemingly happy and contented people that I immediately was struck by what a great place it would be to work. The signature studio is located directly across the street from Paramount and has more of a resemblance to a trendy outdoor mall than a working studio.
 
Apparently, someone at Kennedy/Marshall had come up with the idea to do a live action movie based upon Puff the Magic Dragon (yes, you read that correctly) and writers had been invited to come in and pitch their ideas. I prepared a list of ideas, my favorite being a 60’s record store with a hippy proprietor played by an appropriately Apocalypse Now wigged out Dennis Hooper. Upon stepping into the listening booth and hearing the song by Peter, Paul and Mary, Little Jackie Paper is instantly transported the mystical land of Honali. I’d tell you more, but often my genius doesn’t translate well. Anyways, you get the picture.
 
I had the Fez, I had the pitch, and I had the meeting. What happens next is anyone’s guess.
 
(Next week, the thrilling conclusion.)