J.P. Linde
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J.P. Linde

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Visionary Talent Agency
visionarytalentagency.com
323-890-6160 phone
betsymagee@visionarytalentagency.com
Beverly Hills, CA   90210
1995: AROUND TOWN - KOIN TV (Portland Oregon)
In my brief 3 months as Entertainment Reporter, I won 16 Emmys and three Pulitzer Prizes.
You can now gift the entire J.P. Linde collection of novels and films. “SON OF RAVAGE,” “THE HOLOGRAPHIC DETECTIVE AGENCY” and, of course, the campy horror film classic “AXE TO GRIND.” All three make excellent gifts. And while you’re at it, add a couple of J.P. Linde COMEDY CLUB NETWORK appearances to your digital library. You can find all of my appearances on Amazon Prime at a very affordable price. Give the gift that will keep on giving. Get your J.P. Linde Media Bundle today!

“The most frequent side effects associated with the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are tachycardia, blurred vision, abdominal pain, and diarrhea. Decreases in appetite and rash/pruitus are also common. Those patients purchasing the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are at risk for developing extrapyramidal symptoms, including dystonia, parkinsonism, and restlessness, in addition to neuroleptic malignant syndrome and tardive dyskinesia. In some cases, The J.P. Linde Media Bundle can cause hyperprolactinemia, orthostatic hypotension, leucopenia, seizures, and the potential for suicide. As with most atypical antipsychotics, metabolic changes such as weight gain and hyperglycemia are also possible”

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The Oscars are Coming! The Oscars are Coming!

3/20/2021

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Honestly, I could give a flying fuck for any award show, let alone the Oscars. I am still personally pissed about my own slight from years ago. I was quite confident that Axe to Grind would have least won for the Best Picture Made For Less Than Three Hundred Dollars. Alas, Avatar won. I know, right? 
 
I must admit at delighting at the prospect of what qualifies and what doesn’t. This little pandemic has seemed to settle little Stevie Spielberg’s argument about what really constitutes a motion picture and what does not. Let’s not stop at Netflix or Amazon. Personally, I think we should open the list of nominees from YouTube and the media drive from your personal computer. Academy Members, put that in your ivory pipe and smoke it. 
 
And the nominees for Best Motion Picture are:
 
Cat Jump Fail. Directed by GO54Ever and Directed by Pet2PleezU.
 
The Nutcrackers: TikTok Groin Hits. Directed by Doscajones and Produced by BallBstr7
 
MILF Cucks Hubby 3: The Reckoning, Amateur69 Director and Produced by Porn Hub
 
Baby Talks to Golden Retriever. Produced and Directed by James Cameron.
 
And the winner is… Oh, they are all winners in my book. And don’t forget to thank God. Very important.
 
All of these events are really self-aggrandizing fashion shows. I
 
“You look simply ravishing. Who are you wearing?”
 
“Thank you ever so.  My outfit was completely designed courtesy of The Bass Shop. And in lieu of blood diamonds, I have adorned my sequined fishing vest in tie fly flies, most notably the colorful but practical Tungsten Jig Bugger.”
 
There’s just too many Award shows now:
 
The Golden Globes
The Grammys 
The Oscars
The Spirit Awards
The SAG Awards
The Emmys
The Tonys
And, of course,
 
The Grammies "Edna, this is your year, dear' 
 
“The award for best hard candy wrapped in a tissue goes to… Oh my god, I am so nervous, I can’t even get this open.”
 
Even a pandemic can’t stop these award shows. They are the cockroaches of televised events. Each year the ratings get worse and worse and each year we get more and more of them. I honestly think they are reproducing. 
 
Oh, what’s the use.
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     ​In 1981, J.P. Linde co-wrote and appeared in a one-man comedy show titled “Casually Insane.”  Shortly after, he joined the ranks of stand-up comedy and performed in clubs and colleges throughout the United States and Canada.  In 1989, he made his national television debut on “Showtime’s Comedy Club Network.”  He wrote the libretto for the musical comedy “Wild Space A Go Go” and co-wrote and co-produced the feature motion picture, “Axe to Grind.”  “Son of Ravage” is his second novel.

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