The Show Business Lexicon

​As a public service, I have created a show business and literary lexicon for a better understanding of the language and meanings of those who may be considering your work of literary fiction or screenplay. So, without further ado, I present this helpful aid and inviteyou to refer it as often as you need. The language of show business is like most complex foreign tongues, and it is important that we start simple and work our way up.
 
The Basics:
 
Pass – We don’t want it.
Interesting – A passive aggressive way of saying we don’t want it.
We may hear something next week – We are going to wait a week and then tell you we don’t want it.
Something should shake loose in a couple of weeks – Nothing will shake loose, and we never wanted it in the first place. It was a mistake to even take your phone cal.l
 
Good luck with your future endeavors – fuck off.
Are you in the union? Please tell me you are not in the union.
We’re meeting with someone very important next week – I’m lying to you about this and I don’t know why.
We have some notes – This is going to require a lot of work.
We have just a few notes – This will require quite a lot of work. Honestly, I don’t know why I bother
It’s Perfect – I haven’t read it yet. I will have plenty of notes for you later.
 
Digging Deeper:
 
We love this character – Can you make this character completely different?
I was a little unclear regarding this character – Get rid of this character.
I am a little unclear of what happens here – I never read the script. It was explained to me and I later fired that person.
I love your story - I did not throw up.
The script has some potential – Right now I can’t find anything better.
Everyone is really excited about your story - I desperately need to pitch something at next Friday’s meeting.
Your through in this business – You were never in this business.
Let’s take a meeting - I’m hungry. Do you like sushi?
There are two speeds in Hollywood, slow or blazing fast – Quit calling me. Jesus.
Can we have a quick chat? -  I’d fire you if you actually worked for me.
 
Screenwriting Service Ads
 
Thousands use our service everyday – We are going to rip you off for at least one hundred dollars.
 
Come pitch your script to industry professionals – We are going to rip you off for at least three hundred dollars and you’re going to have to get a room.
Industry Professionals – Proud men and women who work in our mailroom.
Our Success stories – Pure fiction.
Photos of our success stories – Pulp fiction.
 
And there you have it. Navigating always requires a map and a compass. Hopefully the above guidance will serve you as well as it has served me, And, think of it this way, it didn’t cost you anything.