J.P. Linde
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J.P. Linde

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J.P. on "STOP ME IF I'VE HEARD THIS" 04/13/20
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1995: AROUND TOWN - KOIN TV (Portland Oregon)
In my brief 3 months as Entertainment Reporter, I won 16 Emmys and three Pulitzer Prizes.
You can now gift the entire J.P. Linde collection of novels and films. “SON OF RAVAGE,” “THE HOLOGRAPHIC DETECTIVE AGENCY” and, of course, the campy horror film classic “AXE TO GRIND.” All three make excellent gifts. And while you’re at it, add a couple of J.P. Linde COMEDY CLUB NETWORK appearances to your digital library. You can find all of my appearances on Amazon Prime at a very affordable price. Give the gift that will keep on giving. Get your J.P. Linde Media Bundle today!

“The most frequent side effects associated with the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are tachycardia, blurred vision, abdominal pain, and diarrhea. Decreases in appetite and rash/pruitus are also common. Those patients purchasing the J.P. Linde Media Bundle are at risk for developing extrapyramidal symptoms, including dystonia, parkinsonism, and restlessness, in addition to neuroleptic malignant syndrome and tardive dyskinesia. In some cases, The J.P. Linde Media Bundle can cause hyperprolactinemia, orthostatic hypotension, leucopenia, seizures, and the potential for suicide. As with most atypical antipsychotics, metabolic changes such as weight gain and hyperglycemia are also possible”

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The Three, eh Adventurers

7/20/2019

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Welcome back, Ravagers. As always, your presence is what continues to make this the little website that could.  Thank you for your continued support! Some of you may already be at Comic-Con. If you are, have a great time. By the way, you score bonus points (maybe even a teeshirt), if you spot a copy of “Son of Ravage.”

​I’d like to dedicate this week’s blog to three heroes who got started in the game late, (they were all in their sixties in fact), but never the less were skilled enough to battle Hercules, romantic enough to cozy up to Snow White, brave enough launch themselves into outer space, and resilient enough to conquer Martians and travel around the world in a daze. Quite an impressive resume. Even the likes of Rock Ravage would be jealous. But, whoever could these daring heroes be? Give up” (Drum roll) 

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​Larry, Moe and Curly Joe, the funniest, craziest guys I know. During the very late fifties and early sixties, The Three Stooges, boosted by the success of their theatrical shorts playing endlessly on television, made a series of five, feature-length films. And believe it or not, all of them, had one toe firmly into the genre of fantasy/adventure.
 
In this humble post, I will endeavor to rank these Three Stooges films from worst to best.  Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk. Let’s get started.
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The Three Stooges go around the World in a Daze 1963 (One and one half nyuk).
 
Loosely based on the Jules Verne classic. I can honestly say that I have never sat through this entire movie.
 
Moe: We’re official bodyguards. Also double as man Friday.
Larry: And Saturday.
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​“Snow White and the Three Stooges.”  1960 (Two nyuks)
 
It was a clever idea, spoiled by the gimmick of featuring several ice-skating sequences. This is the Stooges only feature film to be in technicolor. Worth seeing. A bit artsy, (yeah, I know) for a Stooges flick and a sure-fire miss. Memorable line:  
 
Moe hawking the medicine Nyuk. “Become the envy of your friends. Surprise your wife. You, lady, grow a beard and surprise your husband!”
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​The world’s introduction to the sweet, moronic, Curly Joe who became a kinder, gentler foe to Moe. I don’t care what people say, I liked him and always had the feeling that he was a good sport and quite the trooper. Be sure and check out Joe DeRita’s interview on the future of comedy. The infirm, toothless and only remaining stooge talks about the nature of comedy. But I digress. While this move does have some funny moments, it is kind of all over the place, even featuring the Stooges, a Unicorn and a song.
There really are no memorable lines but here we go: 
 
Larry: (after a beautiful French girl walks away) Why didn’t I learn French instead of Latin? (Spies a Hispanic girl) Oh, a Latin!
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​“The Outlaws IS Coming.” 1965 (Two and a half nyuks)
 
Batman Adam West in his first feature roll and Emil Sitka’s final film appearance with the Stooges. Features a few cringe-worthy racist moments; particularly Curly Joe dressed as an Indian maiden.
 
Moe: “Your names will live forever. You may even get into TV.”

No, the moment you've all be waiting for. One the winner and runner up were both made in the same year and in my humble opinion are the best in the lot.

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​“Three Stooges in Orbit.” 1962 (Three nyuks)
 
Or Three Stooges vs the Martians, or Three Stooges do the Twist, or Three Stooges save Disneyland. This one also happens to be all over the place but as a kid, I loved it. The Stooges are kicked out of their apartment for cooking and move into a haunted house. And that’s just the first 10 minutes.
 
Moe” What do you normally do when somebody mails you a bomb?
Curly-Joe: I mail it back.
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“Three Stooges Meet Hercules” 1962 (Four solid nyuks)
 
The most popular and successful of the theatrical feature Stooge films. The plot and structure are pretty tight, and the jokes aren’t half bad. Amazingly, the line dialogue below can’t be found in any of the online quote sites. However, it remains one of my favorites.
 
Curly Joe: “Can’t tell one head of the Hydra from another without a program.
 
And that, as they say is that! Hoped you all enjoyed that little stroll down Numbskull lane.  Stay tuned next week when we get in depth with The Bowery Boys.  Just kidding.  Have a great week!
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     ​In 1981, J.P. Linde co-wrote and appeared in a one-man comedy show titled “Casually Insane.”  Shortly after, he joined the ranks of stand-up comedy and performed in clubs and colleges throughout the United States and Canada.  In 1989, he made his national television debut on “Showtime’s Comedy Club Network.”  He wrote the libretto for the musical comedy “Wild Space A Go Go” and co-wrote and co-produced the feature motion picture, “Axe to Grind.”  “Son of Ravage” is his second novel.

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