J.P. Linde
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J.P. Linde

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J.P. on "STOP ME IF I'VE HEARD THIS" 04/13/20
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1995: AROUND TOWN - KOIN TV (Portland Oregon)
In my brief 3 months as Entertainment Reporter, I won 16 Emmys and three Pulitzer Prizes.
You can now gift the entire J.P. Linde collection of novels and films. “SON OF RAVAGE,” “THE HOLOGRAPHIC DETECTIVE AGENCY” and, of course, the campy horror film classic “AXE TO GRIND.” All three make excellent gifts. And while you’re at it, add a couple of J.P. Linde COMEDY CLUB NETWORK appearances to your digital library. You can find all of my appearances on Amazon Prime at a very affordable price. Give the gift that will keep on giving. Get your J.P. Linde Media Bundle today!

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The Worst Client PT 2

1/18/2020

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First, a hearty pat on my own back that I was actually able to wrap this topic up in two installments. I had no idea that this particular topic was going to end the way it did. It's quite sad really, and I still haven't quite gotten over a memory from 25 years ago. Anyway, without further intro, this week’s conclusion to The Worst Client.
 
Here is where it gets kind of tricky so pay attention. This is where you learn the difference between a good client and a very bad one. 
 
Rule #1: Pay no attention to what anyone says about anything. You know that old “what opinions are like and that everyone has one,” right? Well, that holds doubly true in Show Business. 
 
What really threw me for a loop was that the critique of said agent was thrown out at my first meeting after my move. Instead of shrugging it off, I let the comment eat at me. There are literally thousands of production companies in LA. Why let the opinion of one threaten a potential relationship with an agent.
 
Rule #2: Nobody is going to fawn all over you. Especially a new agent. Get over it. 
 
So, I sucked up the comment and went back, delivering a 2nd screenplay that I thought would seal any potential misgivings that the agent might have of me. We sat in her office, had a very pleasant conversation in which was finished by me presenting her with my newest screenplay. She looked it over quickly and announced, “This quotation should really have its own page.”  How dare her, right? Could she at least read it first before passing such a horrendous comment? Truth be told, I was incensed. Truth number two, she was right.
 
Rule #3. Pick up the goddamn phone when she calls. Whatever the reason, if an agent calls you, that is a good thing! 
 
So, it was the nineties, right? I had an internet addiction and was online constantly. My agent had this miraculous phone service that would break my dial-up phone connection so that I could call her back. Obviously, she wanted to get in touch with me. And, just as obvious I never called her back.  Be available. If you are lucky and opportunity does strike, you have to be there to answer the phone. I was not.
 
Rule #4: Fear of Failure is a real thing. 
 
It is funny how you can want something so bad and mess it up so bad when you almost get it. I certainly have that. It is something that I struggle with to this day. I have a hard time being in a room with people who are more successful than I am. I am sure self-esteem has something to do with it and that is something we can all use a little work on. You are not alone. So, if you find yourself in this position, suck it up and struggle through. I know it is easier said than done. But, in doing this, you may find yourself turning from very bad client to an extremely good one.
 
And, Caren, if you are reading this out there, I am truly sorry.
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​Rest in Peace Caren Bohrman (November 18, 2012). I didn’t know her all that well, but she honestly tried with me and in this business that is saying something.


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     ​In 1981, J.P. Linde co-wrote and appeared in a one-man comedy show titled “Casually Insane.”  Shortly after, he joined the ranks of stand-up comedy and performed in clubs and colleges throughout the United States and Canada.  In 1989, he made his national television debut on “Showtime’s Comedy Club Network.”  He wrote the libretto for the musical comedy “Wild Space A Go Go” and co-wrote and co-produced the feature motion picture, “Axe to Grind.”  “Son of Ravage” is his second novel.

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