Top 7 Magnificent 7 Films

​It has been a while since we’ve tackled a subject with any intellectual heft to it, (the last being a serious discussion of the James Bond gun barrel sequences). Ever since, I’ve had the nagging feeling that my blog is wasting away. But that time is over, friends. Today, we roar back with a subject that should go down as one of the most powerful blog posts of all time. Today I give you, the top seven Magnificent Seven movies.
 
I’ve been in love with the original 1960 original The Magnificent Seven since the 70’s when notorious college drug dealers hijacked my small black and white television and made me watch it (if you’re lucky, I may relate this story further someday). Long story short, unlike the experience, the movie starring Steve McQueen, Yul Brynner and Eli Wallach and directed by John Sturges, stuck with me. So, with this introduction out of the way, let’s proceed.

​Dishonorable Mentions: #6 and #7
 
The Guns of the Magnificent Seven and The Magnificent Seven Ride. Uh, well they make the list only because Magnificent Seven is somewhere in the title. Yul Brynner’s iconic Chris was long gone, touring in a road show production of King and I most likely. He had been replaced by George Kennedy and Lee Van Cleef respectively. While both are fine actors in their own right, their magnificent crews had been whittled down to the likes, of Ed Lauter, Micheal Callan, Ralph Waite, Gary Busey. James Whitmore, Joe Don Baker, Bernie Casey and Monte Markham as Keno. Let’s just be polite and pass both of these films off as, No thank you.
 

​The Return of the Seven. (1966) Yul Brynner returned to the iconic role of Chris with two stipulations, give me a batshit crazy script and no Steve McQueen. The producers relented to the temperamental actor’s requests and, along with Robert Fuller (from television’s Emergency) we got this mess. Filmed in Spain, as shooting in Mexico had become problematic (the entire country had read the script), this low-level entry into the canon at least has Yul and at the very end a lot of shit blows up…blows up real good.

#4 The Magnificent Seven (Television Show and subsequent Christmas Specials). Okay, I am kidding about the holiday specials, but it would have been fun, watching all of Chris’s friends get shot down before the star is placed at the top of the tree. Michael Biehn portrays Chris and Eric Close is Vin as seven gunfighters attempt to defend a town. Robert Vaughn joined mid-season to add some needed umph to the series but alas, was too late. Interesting, but all in all, a miss.

#3 The Magnificent Seven directed by Antoine Fuquo is a much needed to return to what made the original great. The casting, from Denzel Washington to Vincent D’ Onofrio is brilliant and the entire story breathes fresh life into a series that I had remained convinced could not be brought back to life. Fuquo reports that he was a fan of western films since he was a kid and it shows in everything he does. Chris Pratt is so much fun to watch and his final scene should go in the western shoot-out hall of fame. 

 #2 The Magnificent Seven (1960) and directed by John Sturges. It’s a no-brainer as to why this film continues to resonate. First, it catapulted Steven McQueen, James Colburn and Charles Bronson to stardom and broke open an entire genre of heroes with jaded pasts seeking redemption. It also introduced us to Eli Wallach, in the first of his Mexican Bandido trilogy of roles that concluded in an epic performance as Tuco from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. This film is only rated #2 on our list because of the film that preceded it and the casting of the German actor Horst Buchholz as Chico. Still, this film stands up very well to multiple, nay hundreds, of repeated viewings.


And, the #1 Magnificent Seven movie of all time?

Seven Samurai directed by Akira Kurosawa. The gold standard. If you have not seen this film, you are robbing yourself from viewing what some critics call one of the greatest films ever made. It has remained highly influential, often seen as one of the most "remade, reworked, referenced" films in modern cinema. Do yourself a favorite, walk don’t run to the nearest art house. It is worth it!

This was fun and inspires me to think of all kinds of countdowns in films with numeric titles. Perhaps next week we will feature the top seven dwarfs in Snow White films. Until then, "ride on.”