Your Chance to Become a Doormat

Every great personality has a quote they are famous for.
 
W.C. Fields has a lot:
 
“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.”
 
“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”
 
Groucho was extremely good at it.
 
“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.”
 
Dorothy Parker, seated at, or under, the Algonquin Round Table, managed to fire off more than her share of classics. Here are two of her greatest hits.
 
“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”
 
“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”
 
My point is this. I have been using the entirety of my free time, thinking of award-winning quotes. This takes my mind off of more important matters and frees it wander the length and breadth of my limited imagination and vocabulary.
 
Fans of the movie Axe to Grind, were treated to one of my own classics.
 
“There ain’t no crazy like California crazy.”
 
See. It’s not so hard. Here’s one I came up with today.
 
“If it ain’t all-consuming, it ain’t show business.” 
 
As you can see, I prefer to use the word ain’t whenever possible. It goes with the whole limited vocabulary thing. Okay, you give it a try.
 
All entries must be postmarked by March 18. Send $10.00 entry fee ( I learned this from screenwriting competitions) along with your quote to:
                              Krazy Quotes
                              PO Box 1000019
                              Washinton, DC
 
Winners will be judged by originality, the use of the word ain’t and, most importantly, their $10.00. Winning quotes will be displayed on a door mat.