These are the words that strike fear into the heart of any relationship. Man, woman, writer, AMPTP. Doesn’t matter. It always means the same thing; whatever relationship there was is about to be over.
 
Yesterday, WGA leaders and AMPTP representatives got together somewhere in the Sherman Oaks Mall. The meeting’s itinerary was a simple one. Let’s gauge the water and see if the two of us can’t agree to sit down for further talks. Simple enough, right? Well, apparently not. Like an estranged man and his wife meeting for the first time in some lawyer’s overpriced conference room, the one-hour meeting quickly turned to angry finger-pointing and who would get custody of the family cat.
 
I do not pretend to know what went on behind closed doors. I do know this; it wasn’t an improvised quickie while the children were busy outside playing. Apparently, we still have a very long way to go. Writers need to have some very important issues addressed. Among them writer’s rooms, A.I., and who gets the children on Christmas and Thanksgiving. 
 
The writers, we are the children, huddling behind closed doors, listening to our parents verbally slug it out accusingly; Who’s cheated, who ran up the credit cards and who keeps piling their dirty laundry onto the bedroom chair. Pretty sordid stuff. Oh, we’ll survive. We always do. Perhaps our parents married too young. Apple, Netflix, Amazon, they weren’t really ready for the responsibility. But they have it now and I guess we, the children, are the ones to pay the price.  

From my writer/producer friend Mark Verheiden: 
 
“A "media expert" on the radio this morning closed out his comments on ending the SAG/WGA strikes by offering this ideal solution: "Make better content, less bad content." Leaving aside the whole "content" word (which I hate), gee, WHY DIDN'T WE ALL THINK OF THIS BEFORE?”
 
I love the comment and Mark’s observation because of its blatant “duh” factor. 
 
Bad shit on the big and small screen is not the writers' fault. It is because the “suits.” as actor and un-convicted wife-killer Robert Blake referred to them, are so risk averse that they are allergic to original material. Now, of course, some original material does manage to find it’s way onto the screen. But the amount of these movies and television shows are getting fewer and fewer. 
 
Ironically, the juggernauts of Marvel and LucasFilm have almost destroyed Disney. And while rehashing classics seems a sound practice, audiences are now saying, “nah, too much cotton candy” makes me fart.”
 
Do not blame the writer. Do not blame the producer showrunner. Blame the people who give the former the notes.
 
Whiplash:
 
“He’s good at drumming. We get it.”
 
Hidden Figures:
 
“Do we have to have so much math?”
 
Remake of The Magnificent Seven:
 
“Do they have to wear cowboy hats and sport facial hair?”
 
(The above notes were taken from an excellent article in thewrap.com titled: Oscar-Nominated Screenwriters Share Worst Studio Notes: ‘So Where are the White People?’)  
The people who wrote these questions do not love movies or storytelling. They like hearing themselves speak and making money. You find people who love movies and love storytelling, and you will not have a problem.

​The planet is dying, the WGA and SAG/AFTRA are fighting for their very existence, and I can’t seem to figure out how to center align or format a paragraph on my Office 365 for iPad. This may be the straw that broke this camel’s back. 
 
Okay, false alarm. I have finally reasoned it out and can now return to my quiet life of desperation, with the devil may care of not giving a shit what happens next.
 
Kidding. I do care very much. I hoped this week’s blog would be a little more lighthearted, but since I have run out of videos of cats playing the piano, crazed flying squirrels, and men getting whacked in the nuts, I will be forced to rely on my storytelling ability. As I write this, I am sitting outside, in Northern CA, with a projected temperature of over 100 degrees. 
 
So, here we go. A story problem: 
 
Adrianna has 10 pieces of gum to share with her friends. There wasn’t enough gum for all her friends, so she went to the store and got 70 pieces of strawberry gum and 10 pieces of bubble gum. How many pieces of gum does Adrianna have now?
 
Give up? For all of you legislators in Florida who are too busy rewriting the Black History in this country, it’s ninety.
 
Okay, I found a video that you may find amusing. It’s called River Tubing in Florida. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. I need to get out of this heat before I do something stupid. 

​Admit it, it’s much better than some cat playing the piano. I hear the AI over at the AMPTP has already optioned the rights.

​Here we go!  I don’t think any of us know how big this whole strike thing really is. Two huge entertainment unions against “the man.” And when I say man, what I really mean is, “THE MAN.” Purchasing our music has changed, and will never return to the neighborhood record store, Sam Goody’s or Tower Records. All gone. With it, the way we listened and purchased music and, most important, how the artist was paid. For the most part, I don’t think Musicians actually knew what was happening until they woke up, and “poof” it was all gone. They were too late to do anything about it. Some called it progress.
 
Well, here we are, facing the end of film and television as we once knew it. No one is waiting for the whole damn thing to disappear this time. This time artists are fighting for their lives, livelihood, proper pay, and respect for their artistic endeavors.
 
I am on Linkedin, no brag, it’s one of the places in social media where I like to hang. Get away from the other social media noise and shaming. No body shaming on Linkedin, just income shaming. And, hey, who couldn’t use a bit of monetary inspiration from time to time? Anyway, there are two schools of thought on this whole affair.  One school of thought is basically the “you go get ‘em” roar that is heard all over social media platforms. The other is far more pessimistic, that the enemy camp will settle for nothing less than the scorched earth approach to show business. These latter posts are written with all the emotion of a Vulcan, merely stating what they believe is actually going to happen. Because of this “new model” that Covid and streaming have brought about, there should no more need for unions.
 
I beg to differ. They are needed now more than ever.
 
“The only effective answer to organized greed is organized labor.”  Thomas Donahue
 

​I had an industry someone (fill in the blank) circle to reconnect, hopefully. Despite my being jettisoned months ago, the person wanted to see about hooking back up to “assist” with my career. I was polite, thanking the person for reaching out but explained courteously that I did not need her services. I stress the spirit in which I dealt with this, as it was the polar opposite of my feelings when I was released. But herein lies the lesson. Thanks to tracking on IMDB Pro, people can and will come back around. No big deal, but think long and hard about how you responded. It’s like returning to a romantic entanglement that did not work the first time. As a rule, the issues that caused the breakup will most likely remain. 
 
Okay, that is your little warning for today, grasshoppers. 
 
A special thank you to all that have commented on the website. I appreciate all your comments…even the spam ones trying to cure my chronic erectile dysfunction. Thanks for taking the time, and keep them coming. 
 

Do you remember that magazine Famous Monsters of Filmland? For a young kid and monster fan, it had it all. Grainy photos of our favorite creatures and monstrosities from our favorite films. Interviews with make-up artists and sometimes even the stars themselves.  Well, I am thinking of starting my own.
 
Famous Acronyms of Filmland:
 
Each week, a different acronym for an evil organization.  There are so many to choose from that I literally have the first year mapped out.
 
S.P.E.C.T.R.E.
 
Special Executive for Counterintelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion.
 
C.O.B.R.A.
 
Criminal Organization of Bloodiness, Revenge, and Assassination.
 
For the sweetheart Valentine issue, I have the following planned:
 
L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.
 
The League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments in Naughtiness
 
T.H.R.U.S.H.
 
The Technological Hierarchy for the Removal of Undesirables and the Subjugation of Humanity
 
Which is not to be confused with the evil organization to be feature cover story:
 
A.M.P.T.P.
 
Which stands for -- Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers. If you are interested in who has a seat at this rather larger table, it is as follows: AMPTP member companies include the major motion picture studios including Paramount, Sony, Universal, Disney, Warner Brothers, ABC, CBS, Fox, and NBC, along with streaming services Netflix, Apple, Amazon, and Quibi.  Just kidding about Quibi. The little streamer that couldn’t.
 
For the record, the evil lair for the AMPTP is not inside some volcano or underwater lair but in Sherman Oaks. 
 
All that is missing is a motto. 
 
“The World is Not Enough.” Horrifying and appropriate, but it’s taken.  That motto belongs to James Bond. 
 
I wonder if they have a flag.

A new yearly tradition! It’s time for movies that I would love to see in D-Box the exciting new experience for the motion picture theatre.
 

1. All About Eve. It could potentially give a whole new meaning to “Buckle your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.” Cue D-Box.
2. Any Jim Jarmusch movie. Some say a few chills, spills, and thrills are just what his pictures need. Just start rocking the chair at any dialogue scene over three minutes.
3. Sense and Sensibility. Jane Austin adaptations are a natural fit for this exciting, cutting-edge technology. Think of the thrills and chills when your seat kicks in during, “Run mad as often as you choose, but do not faint.” Why, I get goosebumps just thinking about it. 
4.  Cats. Just because. The constant shaking may keep the general public awake.
5. Network because “you’re as mad as hell, and you’re not going to take it anymore.”
6. Any porn (with the addition of another device or two, depending on your specific preference).
7. Driving Miss Daisy. It would immediately turn this film into a tentpole picture. 
8. My Dinner with Andre. It will be just like being in the room.
9. Any Hallmark Movie
10.  Any film that features George Segal playing the banjo.

Thank you. Stay tuned next week when we talk menu items that should never be served in a movie theatre.
 

​I Love Rodney Dangerfield, and I think it goes without saying that, he “don’t get no respect.” The first President in American History has been indicted in federal court, the beloved San Francisco Giants are only two games below the Los Angeles Dodgers, and The Flash opened at midnight last night. Rodney said it best. “What a week.”

​ 
Not sure what happened to this week’s Deadline: Strike Talk. It seems to have vanished from my podcast playlist with no new episode. Is it wrong of me to suspect foul play? Maybe it will show up later today. In the meantime, I recommend Rachel Maddow’s Deja News. An excellent historical podcast gives us a good perspective on what is happening around us right now.
 
Avatar: The Way of Water is a visual masterpiece. I marvel at the world James Cameron created and how real it all is. From characters to landscapes, all are even more fantastically real than the previous film. It really is an achievement and needs to be celebrated.
 
Per instruction, I have been cleaning up my social media presence. You may have noticed the change to the website and the addition of a screenplays section that, try as you might, you can’t get in. Well, you could get in, if you had the password. What is the intention of this private little room, you ask? Well, great question, and here’s your answer. The screenplay section currently contains a complete spec deck separated by genre. When you open the page, you will see the two projects we will push when the strike ends. Each contains artwork, a logline, and a one-page summary. We will soon see if having this material available digitally will save producers time and my paper. 
 
As for my reactivated Twitter account, I have three followers. There is no time like the present to get on board. In the next few weeks, I expect to be up to seven.
 
What a week. What a week! 

Baseball? Indictments? The end of the world due to global warming? All are worthy endeavors to spend your time. I hope that you are finding time to write. Some to choose to fiddle while Rome burns. I choose to put my thoughts down on paper.
 
I have spent some time on the following and am glad I did. Ted Lasso final season was well worth the wait as was Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Both shows featured stellar final episodes and my time investment in them was worth it. Although, I do have one criticism for Lasso’s final minutes and the use of “Father and Son.” I now am unable to get that melody out of my head. Nothing can drive you crazier faster than a Cat Stevens song stuck in your head. In the words of a villainous henchman being shot in a comic book, “Aieeeeeeeeeee.”
 
As you may have noticed, I have cleaned up my website. Social Media, as well, as houses do require Spring Cleaning. There are a couple of new pictures, some books and stuff for sale, and a mysterious members-only page. What is that about?
 
I just listened to my buddy Jeff Stilson on Marc Maron’s WTF podcast. Hearing Jeff talk about the early days of comedy and his first tour was fun. Although I was not mentioned, it did happen to be with me and took place on Vancouver Island, British Columbia. 
 
SF Giants happen to be over 500, so watching them make a go for it this season will be fun. Denver Nugget basketball has also provided a bit of much-needed relaxation.
 
With any luck, this whole strike business will be over soon, and everyone can return to what they do best…whatever that happens to be.

​Going to be making some changes to the site. The blogs will remain, on a separate page and we will be removing some of the clutter. Nothing to get too upset over, but it is going to take time and everything may be in disarray for a while. No worries. We will be back with a bit more room for you all. Until that time, do something useful.